What to do?!

Alright I dont really do drama here but just this once, I wanna share something with you, my dear readers. It's a little long so just bear with me. I've been living in Baguio for 6 years now. I graduated last year but I had some unfinished business at school. Now that Im done with everything, Im leaving Baguio for good because of work. Something I dont really wanna do. If given the chance to pursue your dreams in life and be who you want to be but at the expense of leaving the people you love behind, would you still take it?

I've always been sure about what I want in life. Im a dreamer and I have big dreams for myself, but in those dreams my friends are with me. Now that I'm leaving, Im leaving all of them. Yes I know there's still Facebook, SMS, email, my blog, but still its different when you actually get to talk to someone in person. My years in Baguio have been the best years of my life and I've made a lot of friends, people who I could proudly call family.  Two years ago and an opportunity like this came, I would've have grabbed it in a heartbeat but now thing's are different.

The truth is I'm scared. In Baguio I have people who love me unconditionally, people who would do everything to protect me from getting hurt, people who would even put me first before themselves. And when I realized I was actually gonna leave, it suddenly donned on me that I am gonna be alone. Sure my cousins and a few relatives are there, but it's not the same. Im connected to them by blood, but my family in Baguio are those who have been a huge part of my life and it kills me that I'm leaving them.

A friend of mine once said, "When the opportunity comes, grab it because you just dont know. It might no longer be there tomorrow." It's one of the reasons Im taking this chance. I've always had a lot of doors opened for me, but I also know that they will not stay open forever. Basically my point is, I will leave Baguio sooner or later, but I wanted to do it when I was ready and not like this that a bombshell was dropped on me. The job in Manila is good, the money is great considering I just graduated.

Baguio is a place that has become close to my heart and contrary to what others think, I love the people, I love the culture, I love everything about it. I learned a lot of things in Baguio, I realized a lot of things about myself, I learned to appreciate the simpler things in life. My mom was right when she said that I should not confine myself in Baguio, that I should see what else is out there for me but sometimes she makes me feel like I have no choice but to leave and that just makes things worse. She means well and I know that, it's just sometimes i feel like she doesn't understand how hard it is for me to leave the people I call family in Baguio.

For the first time in my life, Im actually scared of being alone hell Im downright terrified but I have to do this, so I can reach my dreams and make them come true. I will return to Baguio someday because it is a place I call home. The door is there and it's wide open, the only problem is how to take the first step out.