Me: It's great because I buy more than 5 magazines every month now I get to save money.
Mom: What do you do with them?
Me: uhhm... I read them?
Lyve: You do realize that keychains are the lamest gifts.
Me: Well I didnt know what to buy.
Lyve: Fine just buy me earings when you get here and lets just pretend their from Hong Kong.
Me: As long as their hooker earings.
Darnell: I need the rent. Also my motorcycle was caught and the plate number was confiscated. Do something about it.
Me: Alright I'll call my friends from the army. Would you want a white crow and a flying pig while I'm at it?!
Me: Oh what is this and how can I replace my blood with it?!
Mindy: Tanduay Ice.
Me: Every sip feels like heaven.
Mindy: Are you high?!
Lyve: Oh my god is that (says a japanese name) AHHHHHH!!!! it is... and is that (says another japanese name) AHHHHHH!!!!
Me: Jet look look I have elbows!
Me and Jet: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Dennis: I need models for the commercial for my advertising class.
Me: I know someone. She's tall and pretty.
Dennis: Alright text her and lets meet up with her.
Me: Oh and by tall I mean she's taller than me and I guess taller that you since you're an inch taller than me.
Dennis: Oh wait dont text her anymore I changed my mind.
Marj: I barely slept.
Marj: Darnell woke me up and started talking about Cap One and the federal laws governing Cap One. He spoke in straight english.
Me: Oh my god are you serious?!
Marj: Yeah. I just realized he's not an idiot.
Me: This is unbelievable. You think he's dying?