Friends with benefits...but without the benefits...

I was talking to Lyve earlier and I told her that I couldnt think of anything to blog.

"Write something dirty!", she said.

"About us?", I sheepishly asked.

"Is there anything dirty about us?"

"We'll see".

So dear readers, y'all know that Lyve is someone I normally mention here. Let me give you a peak at how some of our "wholesome" conversations go. So technically this is a Conversations post but it's dedicated to Lyve. Beb thank you for inspiring me to write this.

Lyve: Shut up! I'm going to hit you!
Me: Are you gonna spank me?
Lyve: What the...
Me: C'mon I've been bad...spank me...
*Lyve hits me*
Me: Harder beb. I like it rough.
Lyve: What the hell is wrong with you?!

or

Lyve: Do you have work on August 1?
Me: No. Why?
Lyve: I dont wanna get your hopes up but I MIGHT be coming to manila.
Me: OHMYGOD!!! I think I just had an orgasm.
Lyve: Eeeww. You just reminded me of a dream I had earlier.
Me: Dont act surprised. I've said dirtier things.
Lyve: Im not surprised.

or

Lyve: Stop bugging me.
Me: But I'm bored.
Lyve: Im watching (says something in Japanese or some oriental language).
Me: But I'm bored.
Lyve: Che! It's not like Im getting any sex from you.
Me: Yeah but you get it from others...
Lyve: Well...uhhm...CHE!

or

Me: We're in a non-sexual commited open relationship.
Lyve: So basically parang wala lang if you think about it.
Me: Oh hush. Technicalities. We're friends with benefits without the benefits.
Lyve: Lance said we're a psuedo couple.
Me: Did he now?

or

Me: Ouch! Dammit!
Lyve: What?
Me: You hit me in the nads. Thats what!
Lyve: No I didn't!
Me: Yes you did! Would I be in this pain if you didn't?!
Lyve: Oh! Sorry beb.
Me: *breathes* If you wanted to touch me in my no-no place, just tell me.
Lyve: You are unbelievable!

or

Me: I miss our afternoon delights.
Lyve: Me too...wait...what?!...that sounded so wrong.
Me: You know...eating at kubo or halo halo at chowking...
Lyve: Oh...yeah...
Me: hahaha

or

Lyve: Good night beb. Dream of me.
Me: Good night.
Lyve: Nothing kinky ayt?
Me: No prob. Ill program my brain to think of something else.
Lyve: Yeah right.

So there you have it. This is just the tip of the iceberg kids kasi baka ma-censor na ako pag naglagay pa ako. But please wag bigyan ng malisya ang kung ano man ang meron sa amin ni Lyve. We are good friends and my mom actually knows her and her mom knows me. Her mom even knows my number for crying out loud. Here's a sample:

Lyves mom: Who were you talking to? Why were you talking for so long? blah blah blah blah blah Who was that? blah blah blah blah...
Lyve: Anton.
Lyves mom: Oh ok.

and

Mom: What did you do during valentines?
Me: I went out with a friend.
Mom: Who?
Me: Lyve.
Mom: Ok.

See kids. We're that close.