Poetry Mode

I walk and run and jump along
I break out loud in dance and song
Another face I simply am
and honestly who gives a damn

I cant believe how long its been
Since a single ray of light I've seen
Do I seem like just a simple shell?
I honestly can never tell

A single voice of pain and fears
I sit and weep with silent tears
A little boy thats simply me
still thinking of who he'd want to be

I spread my wings and try to fly
But still I couldnt reach the sky
I breathed in the break of dawn
I realized I'm not alone

Sometimes I simlpy want to scream
My thoughts, my wishes, hopes, and dreams
But some words are better left unsaid
Just look at me I'm limited

It feels like everything's unfair,
I need to breathe I need some air,
Enough of the music from broken strings,
Am I an angel with shattered wings?

*************

Ewan ko ba, inspired ako magsulat ngayon. Obvious ba? My Muse is back. Buti naman, it's been long enough.

It's Official

Lumapit sa akin kanina ang isang taga HR, may dalang folder.

"This is it!", sabi ko sa sarili ko.

May inilabas syang document mula sa folder.

"Anton, sign here please", sabi nya.

Pagkakita ko sa nakasulat sa papel, ngumiti ako na parang walang bukas. Inabot nya sa akin ang bolpen nya at dahan-dahan kong binasa ang nakasulat sa document. Tumibok ng sobrang bilis ang puso ko. Feeling ko nga huminto ito saglit.

Grabe hindi ako mapakali. Dahan dahan kong nilapit ang bolpen. Pinirmahan ko na.

It's official! Regular na ako sa department namin!!! And that also means, tumaas na ang sweldo ko. Diba?! Tapos sa October 19, yun yung day na mareregularize ako sa company so makukuha ko narin ang mga benefits, allowances, and all that shit. Basta wala akong kalokohang gawin at hindi na ako ma-late for the next 19 days, pasok na sa banga ang regularization ko.

Nung isang araw pa ako kinausap ng sup ko tungkol dito pero syempre, its not official until I sign the dotted line ang drama. At least, it was a good way to end this month. Basta tumaas na sweldo ko, ok na yun. Up next, annual appraisal. Oh yeah!

Ayun lang, happy lang ako. Sana happy din kayo.

Minsan...

 

Minsan ang hirap maghintay,

Minsan para akong tanga,

nakatingin lang sa phone ko,

at naghihintay ng reply mo,

Mahirap ba na sumagot,

kahit 'ok' lang ang sabihin mo,

mahirap bang makihati 

kahit isang minuto lang o segundo

Sanay na ako sa ganun,

At iniisip lagi kita

Pero minsan nakakainis maghintay 

kung isang dosenang text na ang aking ipinadala.

Alam kong busy ka,

Alam mong busy din ako,

Pero may oras naman akong inilalaan

Para lang sayo.

Mahal mo ako,

Alam ko naman yun,

Pero magparamdam ka sana,

kahit sa Facebook o sa cellphone.

Mahirap ba akong pagbigyan?

Mahirap ba ang hiling ko?

Dahil kahit ilang oras akong maghihintay,

Nakakalimutan ko sa isang text o tawag mo...

Dahil wala kaming magawa...

...Tumambay kami ni Bongga sa TriNoma.

The last time na nakasama ko si Bongga eh nung pumunta kami ng Pancake House which was weeks ago. Eh kahapon, pareho kaming 7-4 so ayun sabay kami naglunch tapos nung hapon, pumunta kami ng trinoma.

Nagkwentuhan kami tungkol sa mga kaganapan sa mga buhay buhay namin.

Naglabas ako ng aking mga saloobin.

Si Bongga naman nagkwento sya tungkol sa ginagawa nya ngayon bilang trainer.

At nung ginutom kami, we ended up here...

 

We were able to catch up on things. We were able to update each other on office rumors and stories. Ang saya talaga kapag si Bongga ang kasama ko, walang dull moment. Sabi nya sayang daw di sila nag-abot ni Parker nung andito sya eh she wants to meet him.

Sayang lang kasi di ko na masyadong nakakasama si Bongga these days kasi lagi syang busy eh ako naman busibusihan din dito sa Poker. But it was a fun night.

Dinner Date at Pepper Lunch Shangri La Plaza

Friday when Parker and I wanted to go to MOA but since we left the house really late,we decided to just go to Ortigas. Since I've always wanted to go to Pepper Lunch I told him I wanted to have dinner there. Kaya ayun, off to Shangrila we went. He's in town by the way, buti naman.

In fairness sa Pepper Lunch ang bait ng crew nila. It's very rare that I find places where the staff are very nice. Since it was our first time there, it took us a while to choose what to eat. 

Naaliw ako, talagang may specific table number kung saan kayo uupo. Classy. Anyway, while waiting for the food picture picture muna. They serve the food here really fast.

Me while waiting for our food.

I ordered the Chicken Pepper Rice topped with curry. Masarap naman siya, naglasang chicken curry yung order ko hahaha.

Parker ordered Beef Teriyaki. Since Parker didn't know that he was suppose to mix the food, I mixed it for him. 

"You're treating me like a baby", sabi ba naman sabay ngiti.

My drink came with either ice cream, soup or salad. Naturally I picked Ice cream. This was really good. Parker and I debated for about 10 minutes on whether the syrup was tamarind or honey. He called the waiter and asked. Sabi ba naman nung waiter, caramel daw. We were both stunned. 

After dinner, Parker and I walked around Shangrila Plaza. While walking, Parker saw a candy kiosk and said he wanted Nerds so binilhan ko siya and I wanted frozen yogurt so we went to Hobbes and Landes kasi aside from White Hat, thats the only place that serves the Frozen Yogurt that I like kasi ang daming toppings na nilalagay nila dun. Galit sila sa toppings promise and it only costs 120php.

At around 9:30, Parker and I went to Music 21 to meet up with some of my officemates. Ayun, nakilala na nya sa personal sina Mariah, Libby, at SexyAnne na mga resident guests ng blog ko. It was a fun night. I got to go to Pepper Lunch, walk around Shangrila, meet my officemates for karaoke and the best part was that I was with him. It made everything perfect. Ahihihi kinilig naman daw ako. 

Gift from Jackie!

Dahil nasa Manila nanaman ang bespren kong si Jackie, syempre sa bahay nanaman sya tumutuloy. Sabi ko naman sa kanya, instead gumastos sya para sa hotel, sa bahay nalang sya tapos pakainin nalang nya ako hehe.

Okay lang naman kay Mama na sa bahay nagstastay si Jackie pag pumupunta sya ng Manila. Anyway, kagabi nagkita kami sa Trinoma kasi kadarating lang nya. Nagdinner kami somewhere na sizzling steak something ang food. Basta yun.

Before umuwi, sabi nya dadaan lang daw sya ng Starbucks, so ako pumila para sa taxi dahil sobrang hirap kumuha ng taxi nang ganung oras sa sinumpang lungsod na to. Pagbalik ng lukaluka eh may dalang paper bag. Ayun gift pala nya sa akin.

Alam ko na agad kung ano laman nito. Matagal ko na kasing sinasabi sa kanya na regaluhan ako ng Starbucks tumbler. Sa wakas, after 10 years binilhan narin nya ako nito. At may card pa talaga.

Tuwang tuwa ako kasi the only people na binigyan ni Jackie ng ganito is her bf and me.  And she's not the type na mahilig magregalo, sa if she gives you a gift, you mean THAT much to her.

"So talagang asawa mo at ako lang ang niregaluhan mo ah.", sabi ko.

"Legal din naman kitang asawa. Legal ko din sya. Salawahan ako eh", sabi ba naman ng hitad habang nagkwekwentuhan kami sa bahay.

At talagang kumpleto ang pangalan ko sa card ah. Despite the fact that everyone thinks I'm high maintenance, mababaw lang kaligayahan ko specially when it comes to gifts or material things.

Thank you Bes for the wonderful gift. Ang weird ng shape nito, I've seen this design but not with this type of tumbler. Nakakaaliw. May bago na akong gagamitin sa office kasi yung tumbler ko sa office, todong effort para makainom dahil sa liit ng butas. Yung tipong lumamig na yung kape, di mo pa nababawasan.

TK-421 iPhone case

I want this for christmas. The iPhone virutal keyboard is great and I'm used to it but nothing beats a physical keyboard.

The TK-421 iPhone case will be available at ThinkGeek by November, it costs around $50 and will be available for the iPhone 3GS and iPhone 4.

Best part is, to flip the keyboard out, you flip it out just like you would do with a sidekick.

Gotta catch 'em all!!!

Someone hit me and tell me I am not dreaming! This is a leaked copy of what seems to be a live action version of Pokemon!



Seems legit enough. Lots of stuff blowing up and awesome real life versions of pokemons.

I hope this gets commissioned for a release, I will definitely watch it, In 3D hopefully!

I find it a bit scary that I still have the Pokemon theme song memorized after all these years.

Music Video Moment

Naglalakad ako kanina pauwi galing office. Kabababa ko lang ng jeep nang biglang umambon.

Sumakay ako ng isa pang jeep para deretsong baba na ako sa village namin.

Naka-plug ang earphones ko, nagsosound trip ako sa jeep.

Pagbaba ko, biglang bumuhos na ang ulan.

Biglang nagplay sa phone ko ang 'I Hate This Part'.

Feel na feel ko tuloy na maglakad sa ulan.

Feeling ko nagshooshoot ako ng MV.

I felt the droplets of rain hit my face.

I brushed my hair back using my left hand.

I looked behind me to see if there were any cars.

Kulang nalang eh mag-slow mo ako dun.

Bigla kong naisip...

"Leche nasan ang ganitong shit nung mga panahon na hirap na hirp kaming gumawa ng music video para sa TV workshop class namin. Eh di sana hindi na kami nahirapan at napasa namin ng matino yung subject na yun."

Ewan ko ba kung ano trip ko kanina. Epekto ata to ng acid rain ng maynila eh.

Haaay...

5 months na!

Ang bilis talaga ng panahon.

Parang kelan lang nagpost ako ng 4th monthsary namin.

Parang kelan lang first day namin sa training.

Wala kaming alam tungkol sa company or account.

Wala kaming alam sa isa't isa.

Wala kaming pakialam sa iba.

It's funny how fast time flies sometimes. Who knew that after all these months, kumpleto parin kaming anim. Although 3 sa amin ang nasa Poker at 3 sa amin ang nasa CS, we still maintain the friendship. The fun. The gossip.

The countdown to our regularization begins. 30 days from today, we will all be evaluated by our respective Supervisors to see if we get to be regularized or not.

L-R: Jay, Rax, Rowie, Libby, Me, Del.

After how many months, for the first time kumpleto kaming anim sa day na to and after how many weeks of planning, naisuot narin namin ang company shirts namin on the same day. Si Libby lang ang naiba. Wala na daw yung shirt nya ibinigay daw nya sa asawa nya. Totoo ba yun? Or Libby baka naman gusto mo lang i-flaunt ang iyong arms na mala-porselana sa puti? Pwede namang mag-black shirt. Sleeveless kung sleeveless. Hahaha joke lang Libby. 

Guys, eto na!

Malapit na talaga.

Hinga ng malalim.

At sabay sabay...

"Thank you for calling...my name is...how can I assist you this evening?"

Queueing pala...hahaha

Bakit Ganun?

Bakit ganun? Ang daming nagtatanong sa akin kung totoo daw ba na magreresign ako. Matanong ko nga kayo, meron na ba sa inyo ang nakakita na lumapit ako sa HR na may dala akong resignation letter?

Ilang araw nalang po regular na ako sa Gaming Department. Isang buwan mula sa araw na to, regular na ako sa kumpanya. Adik ba ako para magresign bigla? Saka isa pa, nakalimutan nya na ba na may bonus tayo sa December? Alangan naman umalis ako bigla nang hindi manlang natitikman ang Christmas Bonus at 13th month pay ng office diba.

Aaminin ko, I have received offers from other companies. Offers which are unbelievably tempting dahil sa taas ng offer, but I haven't responded yet because I know that they will be working me to the bone. I have to be honest, I like my job but I don't love it anymore. My salary is enough to pay for my bills, buy some shit every now and then, put food on my table and all that crap. My job is easy, taking calls, answering mails and chat. Simple enough isn't it? Yun ata ang problema ko.

Aaminin ko din, iba na ang takbo ng kumpanya ngayon compared nung nasa very sosyal kami na RCBC tower sa makati na napapalibutan ng mga mas sosyal na Jolly Jeep. The changes aren't big, it's not even a lot, but the point is, there are changes.

Masaya ako sa trabaho ko, pero hindi ko pa ito mahal. Madali ang trabaho ko, pero yun ang problema dahil hindi ako na-chachallenge. Kaya todo apply ako sa mga mas mataas na position kasi alam ko na mas mahirap ang trabaho at mas maeenjoy ko because I love a good challenge.

I have no immediate plans of leaving the company. But it doesn't mean that I havent considered leaving. Hangga't masaya parin ako sa trabaho ko, hindi ako aalis. But if I feel that I am not advancing or moving forward, then I would have to reconsider because I dont want to be an agent my whole life.

Kaya pwede sa mga tanong ng tanong, hindi pa ako magreresign. This blogger still enjoys his job. So lets leave it at that.

Konti nalang!!!

Pagbukas ko ng e-mail ko, may galing sa Globe.

Pagtingin ko sa phone ko, may text naman galing din sa Globe.

Exclusive link and laman ng mga message.

Eto na!

Malapit na talaga!

I've marked my calendar!

Ilang tulog nalang!

Pasasaan ba't mapupunta ka rin sa aking mga kamay.

And Then I Came Out of Narnia...

This was my entry to the blogging event of theorg-y. It was conducted on September 1 and my story got published. I've been planning to post this for a while now but I decided to post it today because this day means a lot to me and Parker. So without further ado...here ya go...

**************************************

I contemplated on whether I should write this or not. It has only been a few days since I came out to some of the most important people in my life. Among all of them, there is one story I would like to share. Cliche as it seems, it is how I came out to my Mom. This post is quite long so bear with me. Nobela to.

And here is how the story goes...

More than a week ago, I changed my Facebook status from 'single' to 'in a relationship'. It was something that caused quite a stir among my friends and family. Apparently, me being in a relationship is such a huge deal for them. A lot of people commented, reacted, asked. One of them was my Mom.

"Who's your girlfriend?", she asked me over the phone.

"Oh that? It's nothing don't mind that", I answered.

She noticed that I didn't want to talk about it so she dropped the topic. A few days after that, she came to Manila. A few hours after she arrived, she was in my room playing Farmville. I was watching TV. She asked me again,

"Who is your girlfriend?"

"No one, don't take that seriously", I answered.

"Why don't you wanna tell me? Is she ugly? Is she stupid? Is she poor? What?"

"No its not that."


"Tell me. I thought we were close, you could tell me anything."


"Mom...its...complicated", I answered with a sigh.

"Try me", she insited.

"No", I firmly said.

"Why? Are you worried I will get mad? Are you worried about something? I don't have hypertension or anything you know", she said trying to feign humor.

"You might have if I tell you the story."

"Just tell me c'mon.", she said without looking at me, being too engrossed with Farmville.

I fell silent and I just looked at her while she was harvesting her crops. I wanted to tell her. I could feel my heart beating so fast, it felt like a thousand drums were pounding on my chest. I took a deep breath.


"It's now or never", I told myself.

I pulled my mom close to me and hugged her really tight. I lay my head on her shoulder and I was stopping myself from crying.

"What is it anak? What's wrong?", she asked.

I didn't respond.

"Anak you can tell me anything. Did you do something wrong? Is something bothering you?"

I started crying silent tears.

"Anak I am your Mom. I only want you to be happy and I will understand you for whatever it is you have done", she said reassuringly.

"Mom I don't know how to tell you this...I don't know how or where to start so I'll just say it out right", I suddenly said.

She nodded.


"Mom...I don't have a girlfriend. I have a boyfriend", I said and at that moment I broke down in tears.

My mom without wasting a second hugged me and said that she already knew.

She explained it to me. She already knew. Apparently even as a child, she wished that I would be gay because a gay son would never leave her and would put her above everything else. She said that it was a part of her that was too selfish to share me with another woman.

My Mom said that she was raised by my grandpa who was not her biological father but was gay. She said that because of him, she saw that gay men can be more decent than straight men and that there was nothing wrong with being gay specially in this day and age. She added that she saw the life my grandpa led, how blessed and happy he was because he was gay.

It made me feel so much better.

"Im sorry Momma", I said, voice a bit cracking.


"There is nothing to be sorry about. When you told me, did I look surprised? Did I look shocked?", she asked, "I already knew it anak and I know that it is something very private and very hard for you to say so all I've been waiting for is for you to tell me. I did not want to be presumptuous, I did not want to catch you off guard. I wanted you to tell me when you were ready."

I could not stop crying at that point. Was I dreaming? Was all of this real? Was my Mom actually telling me these things?

"I'm happy that you told me the truth. I am relieved. Just because you are gay, it does not mean that I will love you any less. I love you more because you told me the truth and I now how hard it is to admit something like this. I know what a relief it is because you've been harboring this secret inside you for a long time."

Every time my Mom talked, every word she said, all I did was look at her in the eyes. I did not see anger. I did not see disappointment. I did not see remorse. I only saw relief.

The conversation became lighter eventually. My mom said that she does not see me marrying a girl and that if that day would come, she wont break down and stop the wedding because she won't be able to accept that.

"When I saw that you changed your FB status, the first thing that came to my mind was 'poor girl' because I did not know it was a guy. But now that I know, I'm much more relieved. I mean, if it was a girl and she loves you then it's her problem because I know that you are gay, and besides, ako lang ang babae sa buhay mo no!", she said.

I laughed.

My mom assured me that nothing would change. She gave me advice on how to handle relationships and all that. She also said that I should know that there would be criticisms, there would be reactions and that I should be ready for that. I told her I already was.

She asked me about my boyfriend and that if he was my first.

"He's not. You've already met two of my ex-boyfriends actually and they've also been to the house", I said.

She knew exactly who I was talking about and for their sake, I won't mention their names here.

We had a short conversation about my exes and I told her why we broke up. She knew that I dont talk to them anymore but the details we're always shady. Now, everything made more sense to her.

"So tell me about your boyfriend. What does he do? How old is he? Is he still studying?"

"He's 23, he's working and he's a cum laude. He's smart, he's good looking and he loves me a lot", I replied.

"Does he have a Facebook account? What is it? Show me his picture", my mom demanded.

"Why?"

"So I'd know what he looks like and I'll see kung may malalait ako sa kanya", she said laughing.

I thought for a second and I opened his picture which was saved on my desktop.

"Ooohhhh he's cute. Disente manamit. Good ah. At least marunong kang pumili", she suddenly blurted out.

I couldn't help but laugh out loud.

She said that she's happy that I'm happy and that she's glad I found someone but she lay down some ground rules.

Bawal ang live-in.

Conduct yourself properly in public.

And...if you break up...move one. Let go. What doesnt destroy you will make you stronger. You should know that.

"Malamang", I told myself. I just nodded.

"Tama na nga to, I'm not done harvesting yet", she suddenly said.

"Ma, I wonder what will Papa and his relatives say when they find out?", I asked innocently.

She burst out into laughter.

"Oh yeahhh", she said, "Well anyway, it's not like they've done anything for you, so they have no right to react".

It's been days since we had this conversation. Nothing has changed. We've actually become closer. The only difference is that I'm happier than I've ever been. I've already told most of my close friends, and all of them accepted me with open arms.

Coming out is hard. Coming out is scary, its terrifying, it downright nerve wracking. But I am happy and thankful that my friends and my mom have made it so easy for me. This is not what I expected, not at all. So for everyone out there who's afraid to come out, I'm not forcing you to come out, but let me tell you that when you do, it is at that moment when you realize who your true friends are and how much your family loves you.

Now I can sleep soundly at night. Now it no longer bothers me. Now I have everything I could ever want and more.

Now I am out of Narnia...and it feels so much better...

Prize?

 Last Friday, may party dito sa office. As usual wala nanaman ako! Leche bakit ba kapag party dito sa office eh laging off ko. Sinasabutahe na ata ako ah. Pero ang mas nakakainis dun eh double pay kami nung araw na yun. Apparently, holiday daw nun.

Anyway...may raffle something something dito sa office nun and nanalo pala ako. Si Libby pa ang nagkwento sa akin. So ayun dumaan ako ng HR para kunin yung 'prize' ko. Naaliw naman ako at talagang effort ang pagbalot sa prize.

Gusto nyo bang malaman kung ano laman nito?

Talaga?

Hindi nga?

O cge.

Eto na.

Eto na nga.

Wait lang.

Saglit nga lang!

Eto na talaga.

Ang prize ko ay...

Isang napakacute...

At napakalambot...

At napakared...

na...

Stuff toy na Football... hehehe.

Ilan kami na nanalo nito. Si SexyAnne, purple ata yung sa kanya. Yung isang team mate ko, pink. Yung isa naman, blue. Ang ganda nung blue.

Iniiwan ko lang to sa office, di ko maiuwi kasi hindi kasya sa bag ko. Eh alangan naman maglakad lakad ako sa kalsada na may dalang stuff toy na football, eh di pinagtinginan na ako ng madlang people.

Kaya ayun, ginagamit ko nalang dito sa office at pinaglalaruan ko or binabato ko kay Mariah hehehe.

Dinner at Gilligans...

Dumating ng Manila kahapon ang aking bestfriend na si Jackie kasama ang ate nya. Wala syang planong pumunta dito but she applied for a job and she was scheduled yerterday for an interview. Biglaan lang kasi na tinawagan sya nung isang gabi lang so medyo nataranta ang hitad.

Since I had work, I met up with her after my shift. At dahil hindi sya sanay sa Manila, I had to go to Makati to meet up with her.

Syempre gumala kami at nagkwentuhan na parang walang bukas. At natural hindi nawala sa usapan si Parker kasi naiintriga ang bestfriend kong to, although nakapagusap naman na sila noon at pinakita ko pictures ni Parker sa kanya. Tuwang tuwa naman ang gaga.

Ayan ang aming pag-gagala sa Glorietta 4 at SM Makati. After nun since naramdaman namin ang kagutuman, pumunta kami sa Giligans ng Glorietta 5.

 

Inorder namin yung set number 4 nila na may kasamang crispy pata na so-so lang ang lasa. Yung sinigang ok naman. Nalasahan ko naman ang asim ng tunay na sinigang pero konti lang laman nya, puro sabaw lang. Gusto ko sanang picturan yung food kaso na-lowbat parehong phone ko.

Tinanong ko yung waiter kung pwede ko bang icharge iphone ko since lagi ko dala charger ko.

"20 pesos po", sagot ni kuya.

Ahhh. So may bayad talaga. Ayun, pinacharge ko na phone ko since 20 pesos lang naman pala. Habang hinihintay ang phone ko, phone ni Jackie ginamit namin kaya yung mga pictures andoon. Ayun after dinner at katakot takot na kwentuhan gumala nanaman kami. Naghiwalay kami ng mga bandang 9 kasi gusto na daw nyang bumalik sa hotel para masulit naman daw nya ibinayad nya.

Sabi ni Parker mukha daw akong kawawa sa picture na to. Hahaha. Anyway, namiss ko tong bespren kong to. I rarely get to see her since she works in the province so whenever she comes here, we make it a point to catch up with one another.

Orange Orange Orange!

My room is now orange.

Pinapili ako ni Mama ng kulay. I chose orange. I've always wanted an orange room.

While finding the right tone for my wall.

First coat.

Final coat. Curtains back up and everything.

My cabinets were painted white. Because my cabinets are still wet and they smell like hell opening up, all of my shit are in the guest room. For the moment, I have my own walk in closet. Hehehe. The original color of my room was powder blue and I hated it. So now it's a color I like. I showed Parker the new color of my room thanks to Skype.

"It's not as bad as I imagined", sabi nya.

Wala lang. Shinare ko lang. 

What stories are made of...

When we were younger, may mga idea na tayo sa kung sino ang gusto nating makatuluyan. We would have this picture in the back of our minds of what our prince or princesses would look like and be like. We'd have an idea of what our happy endings would be.

Actually continuation ito ng post ko tungkol sa mga writer at kung paano sila magmahal. Though this post is more of what happens when a writer finds love.

Kung ang ibang tao may idea na tungkol sa gusto nilang makatuluyan, imagine how it is for a writer to envision the person he or she wants to be with. It'll be in so much detail that when they close their eyes they can actually catch a glimpse of that person and when they open their eyes, their heads would be spinning from being too overwhelmed. 

Paano kung nakahanap na sila ng taong mamahalin? Paano kung andyan na sa harap nila yung tao? Will they wish for a Romeo-Juliet love story? Edward-Bella? or would they want an Alladin-Jasmine story? Writers are very hard to love kasi mahirap silang intindihin. You really can't tell what's on their mind, because most time, even they dont know what it is. Mahirap silang pakisamahan kasi they tend to have their own world and they set standards for their world. There are some naman na highfalutin words ang ginagamit kaya pag kinausap mo eh nose bleed kung nose bleed. Kanya-kanyang trip lang yan.

But here's the thing. Ibang klase sila magmahal. Todo bigay. Ibang level. Kasi nga, they can envision how the greatest love story could go. They are more creative and inspired kasi may pinaghuhugutan sila nun. All they need is a pinch of imagination, a dash of inspiration, and the certainty na mahal sila nung taong mahal nila. They would go through great lengths to express their love.

Basta ito ang aking closing remark. Totoo man na mahirap mahalin ang isang writer pero hindi mo ito pagsisisihan dahil kaming mga writer, no matter how immature or over-analytical we may be at times, ibang klase kami magmahal because we can envision and understand what great love stories are made off and we can make them happen.

I'm So Excited and I just Cant Hide it!

One thing I love about September is that new seasons of my favorite TV shows start on this month. I'm soooo excited and I just can't hide it...la...la...la...

Fringe Season 3



Desperate Housewives Season 7



Glee Season 2



Supernatural Season 6

As per Lyve

"Dapat lang. I came first. You two may be in a relationship. Pero ako ang sasalo sayo pag pinaiyak ka nya. Tandaan nya yun"

Yan ang sabi sa akin ni Lyve habang pinaguusapan namin ang plano kong pagpunta sa Baguio kasama babe ko. Kasi gusto ni Lyve na ma-solo muna ako para makapag-usap kami. Sabi ko naman sa kanya, naiintindihan ni Babe yun. Kailangan namin mag-moment ni Lyve, I miss our afternoon delights and midnight romps in the sac.

I've known Lyve for years and that by far was the sweetest thing she has ever said to me. She knows that I haven't been in a relationship for a long time. She's never seen me madly in-love so this side of me needs some getting used to. Buti naman na she supports me and she says she's happy for me. I really appreciate that.

Tama nga naman siya. Pag umiiyak ako noon, pag malungkot ako, pag masaya ako, kahit ano, sya ang una kong tinatakbuhan. Syempre ngayon, babe ko ang tinatakbuhan ko. Pero paano kapag ang dahilan ng pag-iyak ko ay siya? Sigurado si Lyve ang una kong tatakbuhan and even though she doesnt say much and just listens to me, it makes me feel better.

Im glad I have people like Lyve in my life. My friends, my family, and my Babe altogether just makes life worth living. It makes me realize that despite my imperfections and flaws, there are still people who love me unconditionally. Ano pa ba hahanapin ko diba?

Bakit masaya maging Call Center Agent!

*THIS ISN'T FOR THE FAINT OF HEART*

Nakita ko to sa FB page ni Mariah. Akala ko yung agent ang irate, but it was the other way around pala. Pakinggan nyo to but let me warn you all, 10 minutes of pure na pagmumura to. Hindi ko alam kung totoo to or kung trip lang pero it's high-larious.

Hindi ko kinaya to. Seryoso, tatambling, lilipad, at aatakihin kayo pag pinakinggan nyo to.



It's stuff like this that remind me why I enjoy working in a Call Center.

Dahil sa YouTube!!!

Sabi ko na never ko ito gagawin.

Sabi ko never ko ito susubukan.

Nagmatigas talaga ako.

Pinagpilitan ko na hinding hindi ako bibigay.

Pero mahina ako.

I gave in to the temptation.

Nahihiya ako sa sarili ko.

Nandidiri ako, gusto kong maligo sa ulan at sumigaw ng, "Ang dumi dumi ko!!!"

Hindi na ako makatingin sa mga tao ng deretso.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sumapi sa akin.

Pero aaminin ko.

Natuwa ako.

Naaliw.

Nag-enjoy.

Hindi ako nakapagpigil.

Pinakinggan ko na rin ang...




Gaya nga ng laging sinasabi ni Lyve, "May already low standards are sinking lower..."

I need help!

I need an exorcist!

I need Oprah!

I need to listen to something else!

Get well soon...

The other night I went to St. Lukes Medical Center in Taguig to visit a friend of mine. She's been a good friend of mine kahit nung nasa Baguio pa ako kasi we were schoolmates from UB. We also represented our college back in 2009 for the Tanghal Galing/ Arts Festival of UB. Her name is Marvie and she is one uber talented gal. She can sing, honestly this girl can belt it out. She can play different instruments. She can draw. She's pure talent.

She was first admitted to Saint Louis University hospital in Baguio and going against her doctors advise, she came to Manila to be admitted at St. Lukes. Here's what happened. Marvie is a vegetarian and last week she woke up only to find out that she's lost sight on her left eye. She can still see with her right eye but her vision is  really blurred so she has to wear glasses. When I found out about this, I didn't know how to react. Who would diba?!

Lyve and Jet told me that Marvie was coming to Manila to get another doctors opinion. I called her sister Ajang who is also a good friend of mine and I asked what room she was in. It was around 8pm when I spoke to them over the phone. I immediately got dressed and hailed a cab. Buti nalang pumayag si manong driver na dalhin ako sa Taguig from Tandang Sora.

When I got to the hospital, I was surprised to see that even though Marvie had a hard time seeing, she was still as cheerful as ever. She said she had her 'emo' moment for about two days but realized na walang mangyayari kung gagawin nya yun. Thats the spirit Marvie. According to the doctors, since Marvie was a vegetarian, there was a type of nutrient that was missing from her body which caused her sudden blindness. They're finding ways on how to fix it. Now, Marvie has to eat meat whether she likes it or not.

Marvie I know you can make it through this, you are one feisty character and I've always admired you for that. You are always in my prayers and I pray you get well soon. I love you kabsat and I hope you feel better soon. Keep your hopes up.

Thats Marvie. This photo was taken sometime in September 2009.

Song of the week!

 Waka Waka (This Time for Africa) by Shakira



This is the official song for the 2010 Fifa World Cup. I've been reading about this song from blogs all over but have never heard it. Until 3 days ago.

I was digging around YouTube looking for new music and when I couldn't think of anything else, I decided to listen to this. GRABE! Na-obsess ako sa kantang to the moment I heard the first line.It has this uber addictive beat.

The creepy part is, I've only watched the video 3 times and I already know how to dance it hehe. I've also been singing it a lot. Naiinis si baby ko. Ewan ko ba. For some reason ayaw na ayaw nya sa kantang to.

Basta this is my song of the week.

Ayan kasi...

These days hindi kami masyadong nag-iinteract ni SexyAnne. Hindi po kami nag-away. Banned kami sa isa't-isa.

Ganito kasi ang kwento. Kasi naman, pag-log in palang namin sa office, deretso na ako sa station nya eh malapit lang naman kasi sya sa akin.

Eh ako naman kasi, dakilang makakalimutin, may nakalimutan akong gawin na kelangan pala naming tapusin ASAP. To be fair, natapos ko naman pero late nga lang. Anyway, dahil sa dalas ng pagtambay ko sa pwesto ni SexyAnne medyo nagreact ata ang aming supervisor. Sabi nya dapat daw work-related ang ginagawa ko. In fairness work related naman yun. Work related kasi chismis naman sa office eh hehehe. Ayan, napagsabihan si SexyAnne at sya naman pinagsabihan ako. Pass the message?

Ayun pinaghiwalay muna kami. Restraining order ang dating. Araw-araw ko tinatanong si SexyAnne kung kelan malilift ang ban sa aming dalawa. Di rin daw nya alam.

At dahil dyan, tahimik ang aming production bay dahil wala ang ingay na naggagaling sa aming dalawa.

SexyAnne mis na kita! Magpakabait na tayo para tanggalin na yung ban hehe.

For someone from my past...

Today you celebrate your birthday...

I know that there is no chance in hell that you are reading this... but...

I hope you're in a better place now...

I hope you've moved on...because I have...

Not once have I mentioned you here nor do I plan to mention you ever again. This'll be the first and last.

I wanna use this chance to say everything I've always wanted to say.

You hurt me in ways that even your pea-sized brain could never imagine and no matter how much I despise you, I wanna thank you because you made me who I am now.

Once I believed that I would live a happy life with you. But now I look back and see that that was just a silly fantasy.

You caused me unbelievable pain and made me cry more times than I have ever done in my entire life.

You made give up everything to be with you, and I foolishly did.

Once upon a time you made me happy.

Once upon a time you made me believe.

I know you loved me, you've proven that and once upon a time I loved you too.

But now we live separate lives.

Now, what we had was just in the past.

I hope you are as happy and contented as I am.

The hell I went through because of you was unbereable but it made me stronger and it opened my eyes to the fact that no one else could hurt me the same way you did and now I'm ready for anything that'll come my way.

I wanna apologize for the thing I did to hurt you. I'm not perfect even if I try to be. I make mistakes. I have my own faults.

What we had was not perfect. It was complicated but we tried to make it work. Alas, some things are just not meant to be.

I sometimes ask myself how was I able to get through everything. How I managed to get out of bed every morning knowing you were no longer beside me.

These thoughts linger in my head not because I want to be with you but because you were someone from my past who made an impact in my life.

I no longer look for you. I longer miss you. I no longer love you.

I have gone past that. You are now just a memory.

I can say that I am genuinely happy with what I have and with who I'm with.

I have moved on. I have let go.

I hope you have too.

Happy Birthday JRS wherever you are.