Saturday, September 4, 2010
For someone from my past...
Today you celebrate your birthday...
I know that there is no chance in hell that you are reading this... but...
I hope you're in a better place now...
I hope you've moved on...because I have...
Not once have I mentioned you here nor do I plan to mention you ever again. This'll be the first and last.
I wanna use this chance to say everything I've always wanted to say.
You hurt me in ways that even your pea-sized brain could never imagine and no matter how much I despise you, I wanna thank you because you made me who I am now.
Once I believed that I would live a happy life with you. But now I look back and see that that was just a silly fantasy.
You caused me unbelievable pain and made me cry more times than I have ever done in my entire life.
You made give up everything to be with you, and I foolishly did.
Once upon a time you made me happy.
Once upon a time you made me believe.
I know you loved me, you've proven that and once upon a time I loved you too.
But now we live separate lives.
Now, what we had was just in the past.
I hope you are as happy and contented as I am.
The hell I went through because of you was unbereable but it made me stronger and it opened my eyes to the fact that no one else could hurt me the same way you did and now I'm ready for anything that'll come my way.
I wanna apologize for the thing I did to hurt you. I'm not perfect even if I try to be. I make mistakes. I have my own faults.
What we had was not perfect. It was complicated but we tried to make it work. Alas, some things are just not meant to be.
I sometimes ask myself how was I able to get through everything. How I managed to get out of bed every morning knowing you were no longer beside me.
These thoughts linger in my head not because I want to be with you but because you were someone from my past who made an impact in my life.
I no longer look for you. I longer miss you. I no longer love you.
I have gone past that. You are now just a memory.
I can say that I am genuinely happy with what I have and with who I'm with.
I have moved on. I have let go.
I hope you have too.
Happy Birthday JRS wherever you are.