Tuesday, August 10, 2010

What say you?


I just got out of the gym and I was on my way to the Sky Garden at SM to smoke when my phone beeped. I thought it was text message pero e-mail pala. I opened my mailbox and saw that the subject was "I hate myself". Nagtaka tuloy ako so binasa ko yung e-mail. Nagulat ako! Nobela!

Adam, 

I have this small problem. Well I don't really consider it small though. It has been bothering me for days now. You see, there's this guy. Well I just got to know him just a week ago. We exchanged mobile numbers and after that, we've been constantly communicating through text messages and calls. From the first time I talked with him, I felt something nice. He is a very interesting person. I told myself that I would want to know more about him. He sends me sweet messages. He gives me pet names which I found really cute and adorable. It said so much about his personality. Our first meeting wasn't really that special. I asked him if he could accompany me in watching Inception. He said yes. I suggested Greenbelt since I haven't tried yet their cinemas there. So that day came. We agreed to meet halfway. Right after class, I went straight to Gateway then after some twenty minutes, he arrived. I was easily swayed by his small stature. Although that didn't really mattered to me. I was more captured by his ability to communicate with me well. I must say it's rare that I get to meet guys who have brains. Our meet-up was great. I really had fun. It was a day of firsts for me. It was my first time to take the LRT alone. It was my first time to take the bus. It was my first time to walk along the streets of Makati. He thought of me as a "lost puppy" because I looked so clueless. 

When I got home, I called him. I told him that I had a great time. I opened the idea about him spending a night over at my place. He said he likes the idea. That day came, I fetched him over the train station then we took the trike together going back to my condo. I fell even more when he instantaneously cooked dinner for me upon realizing that I haven't eaten yet. He's a great cook. He used to own a restaurant before. For the first time, I never felt any lust for him. I mean sex didn't came into my mind. Its not that I didn't want to nor was he not worth doing it with but I was just smitten by his great personality. I couldn't begin to describe what I was feeling then. I tried to deny that I was liking him because it was just too soon. But the more I tried denying it, the more it just becomes apparent that I'm starting to miss him, that I want to talk to him everyday, that before I go to sleep it's his voice that I would want to hear, that I can't calm myself every time at some times. Here's where my problem begins. Our first meeting, I don't even consider that a date. His sleepover at my place is just like just time spent together. We didn't even got the chance to know more about each other. I get restless every time I don't get to talk to him. I'm not sure what he wants us to be or what are his intentions. The thought of this uncertainty is enough to drive me insane. I've seen myself go crazy over a guy and I don't want that to happen anymore. I was thinking of confronting him but I'm scared I might give him the impression that I'm rushing things. He's a busy person, he's got work all throughout the week. The last thing I would want to do is to demand time from him. I really don't know what to do Adam. I think he's the one. I can only think so much. 

-Atenista

**********************************

Atenista,

Hmmm... I really don't know how to respond to this. I dont even know kung may credibility ako na sumagot sa ganito. Let me take a shot in the dark okay? First of all, you only met him last week? And now you feel this way? 

Do you feel any chemistry between the two of you? I assume that you do kasi mukha namang masaya ka sa kanya. But let me remind you, it's only been a week. Confronting him may not be the best decision yet because you two barely know each other. Pag ginawa mo yun, only two things can happen. Either magustuhan mo ang sagot and you two have a fairy tale ending ooorrrr magulat sya at bigla syang dumistansya mula sayo. Are you willing to take the risk? 

You can't say that it's love you feel kasi ilang araw palang kayo magkakilala. It's probably infatuation, kasi natutuwa ka sa tao na to who fits your description of the ideal man. If you call and text him everyday, that's probably the reason why you miss him now when you don't get to talk to him because he already became part of your daily routine. Wag mo nga lang masyadong kulitin because as you said, he's always busy. 

A text every now and then to remind him you miss him is ok but to call him every minute, kahit sino maiirita. You two slept in the same bed pero walang nangyari? Weh? di nga? Pero that's good, it shows na may delikadesa ka at may control sya. This is what I learned from giving countless and unsolicited advice to all of my friends over the years, kahit anong sabihin ko may sense man o wala, when it's your heart that's listening and talking, it blocks everything else that it doesn't wanna hear. WALANG AAPILA! Wag kayong plastic!

So let me just tell you to take it slowly muna. Go on more dates, get to know him more kasi mahirap yung ineexpect mo na he's the one tapos hindi pala. Ikaw ang masasaktan kasi ikaw ang umasa. Also, ask yourself, do you think he feels the same way towards you? Give him subtle signs na you're attracted to him and if he responds well, then good. They say that great relationships start from being friends, and I would say the same to you. 

I dont know if this makes any sense pero eto lang kasi ang maipapayo ko ngayon. Sensya na po.

+Adam+

PS. Bakit sa dinami dami ng tao eh ako ang tinanong mo? 

7 comments:

KUMAGCOW said...

Baka akala nya ikaw si Dr. Love heheh XD its a good advise though

iurico said...

But can "love" really be distinguished from "infatuation" through the span of time the two have spent together?

If so, then what is the "acceptable" length of time the two shoudl consider before one (or in this case - her) can finally tell that she "loves" the guy.

And oh, I re-read the letter but have not found any conclusive evidence that the letter sender is a "she." hahaha

I agree with you on this one though - "So let me just tell you to take it slowly muna. Go on more dates, get to know him more kasi mahirap yung ineexpect mo na he's the one tapos hindi pala."

-Eve (Charot)

Adam said...

@Kumagcow Thanks.

@Lurico I dont really know what span of time is ideal pero hindi naman siguro one week diba? Two weeks pwede hahaha. Sa totoo lang, ako din hindi ko alam kung he or she kasi yung name nung may-ari ng email account na lumabas sa mailbox ko eh pwedeng pang boy or girl so di ko talaga alam. Parang off naman kung tatanungin ko diba kaya gawin ko nalang mas general.

kysthine (mariah) said...

baks..Bigla naman aqng nagnosebleed dyan,,hehehe..anyway, on my own point of view Ms/Mr atenista, or whoever you are (well it doesn't count at all) being in love comes in different times, in different ways, love is so unpredictable..the question is,..how do you feel love? what is love for you?..I don't think missing him,calling him every hour,hearing his voice before you sleep,texting him and thinking of him everyday are what we call love.. Love is so broad..even the wisest person can't define what it is..Liking him is different from Loving him..when your in love, you need to love,accept whoever that person is..in doing that..it will take time..Mr/Ms Atenista enjoy what you have now, I don't want you to expect something that you may not get in the future...All I can say is goodluck..this is just a piece of advice and it's up to you..if you will take it or not..God bless..

Adam said...

Bravo! Bravo! Very well said. Mariah sa susunod pag may nag-email ulit sa akin sayo ko na ipapasagot. Sakit sa ulo mag isip ng advice eh.

Anonymous said...

@Atenista: From what you said, you think too much.

Try stop "thinking" and start "feeling" what's going on between the two of you.

Feel. Maybe you're just in love with the idea that someone is showing things to you that you like. Minsan, sadyang sweet lang ang isang tao because it's his nature.

A Girl or a Guy; eitherway, you need time.

But I have to admit, if you're a guy, that makes a bit of a difference. No offense but I think you're... a guy? (hehe) I hate to assume but reading between the lines, I think that a guy was behind the letter. (If I'm wrong, then I guess I wasn't thinking and using my brain at all! My apologies.)

Anyway, if you're happy with what both of you have, why ask for more? Sometimes, we just have to enjoy things as they are. Things could even get complicated as you go along. Only time can tell what would happen next and you only have yourself to help you through it.

Good luck!

@Adam: Sorry kung pinanghimasukan ko na blog mo. Hehe Hinde ko lang mapigilan sarili kong mag comment!

Love you blog and all that shits! Ü Someday, I'll send a letter to you and Bookie asking for advices like these! Hahaha

mariah said...

My friend Anton...always remember a person who can give good advise is a person who needs good advise too..heheheeh..parang ako lang..parang ikaw lang..heheheeh!Mabuhay ang mga baliw sa pagmamahal! Mabuhay!heheheh!