Thursday, May 21, 2009

Conversations with a friend

So I logged into my messenger and an old friend, lets call her Snail was online. We talked for a while then the topic went to our love life/ romantic lives. I said that I was single again. She said that she was in a somewhat serious relationship. I asked how it can be somewhat serious, and she said and I quote:

"I know that I love him. He's great, he's rich, he's smart, he's perfect but the problem is, am I ready to go into a relationship where we actually talk about moving in together, buying things for the both of us, you know... the typical stuff. So how about you? When do you plan to settle down?"

I told Snail that she was asking the wrong person. She knows me pretty well and she knows that Im not the romantic-I'll-sweep-you-of-your-feet type.

Sometimes I wonder if i was like my bestfriend. Now my bestfriend, she's the eternal believer of happy endings and wishes upon stars. She's the "Ill'-give-up-everything-to-be-with-the-man-I-love" type. And I admire her for that because despite the cynicsm of others and that includes me, she still hopes that one day her prince will come on a mighty steed and sweep her off her feet. Now that's a true romantic.

Me, im the exact opposite. I dont believe that love is the only thing that can make us happy. Well not anymore. Im not the type who can comitt to a relationship. Surei've had relationships in the past, but I ask myself how many of those poor women did I actually take seriously and not use just to fulfill my needs. Im the power-driven type. Working, earning money, casual dates make me happy. I dont see myself settling down.

My conversation with Snail honestly made me think, I mean almost everyone I know who "followed their hearts" and all that crap ended up dropping out of school and/or becoming teenage parents. All of their lives are miserable and in some way I feel sorry for them.

I dont know how I came to be this way, its probably the environment I grew up in or the culture Im used to, it could be a million things. I remember one time my friend Belgian(not his real name) told me that if I dont take my relationships seriously, Im gonna end up alone when I grow old. Another friend Cronael (not his real name) said that I was just selfish. I know that on some level they could be right but I just told them, "I'll cross that bridge when I get to it".

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