Ex Ex, Baby!

"There's a reason why we are not suppose to talk about our ex's. Its the same reason why we are not suppose to talk to them. It's because it hurts the person we are currently with even if they don't say anything."

Yan ang status ko sa Facebook na pinagkaguluhan ng madlang people. Nagkaroon ng sariling buhay ang comments section dahil diyan sa lintek na status na yan.

Ganito kasi, nagtampo ako kay Parker kasi naman he called me up eh natutulog pa ako. Okay lang naman since he does whenever he's on his way to work. The thing is, nagkwento nanaman siya tungkol sa ex niya. Eh tulog na tulog pa diwa ko nun. Natural, nabadtrip ako.

The thing we normally argue about would be his ex's. When he doesn't talk about them, we have much less fights and arguments. As in so much less. Ako kasi, I firmly believe na pag break eh break na talaga. Wala nang kung ano ano pang shit na 'let's be friends'. Eh etong si Parker, he's friends with all of his ex's. Sabihin mo nang friends kayo, pero ex mo parin yun. Diba? Diba?? Diiibbbaaaaa????

He even goes out with them sometimes. Syempre may kasamang ibang friends pero it still upsets me. What annoys me is that, I know about them but they don't know about me so ang iniisip nila eh single parin itong si Parker.

Sabi ko naman sa kanya, I trust him naman kasi alam niyang wawarlahin ko siya pag may ginawa siyang kalokohan but I don't trust them since nilalandi parin siya ng ibang mga ex niya. There was an incident many many months ago na nilalandi si Parker nung isang ex niya dun sa kanila. I was so pissed off that I nearly went to his place para lang upakan yung ex niya.

I don't really talk about my ex's and the few times that I do, it's because Parker asked me to. I do it out of respect. Syempre, ang pangit kasi kung makakarinig ka ng kwento tungkol sa ex ng jowa mo diba? You'd feel the need to compete. You'd feel the need to step up so you'd be much better than the ex. It's a pride thing I guess.

Nakakstress lang sa bilbil minsan kasi he already knows that it annoys me so much pag nagkwekwento siya tungkol sa mga ex niya but he still does it. Bigla silang naisisingit sa mga usapan namin. Alam kong alam niya pag naiinis na ako. He knows I dont care about his ex's and I dont really pay attention pag nagkwekwento na siya tungkol sa kanila.

I'm good at tuning things out.

Pero naman, wag naman kung kelan kagigising ko lang diba? Any normal person would be pissed off by that. I know he loves me and there's a reason why we've been together for this long. It's because ibang level ako kesa sa mga ex niya. I don't feel threatened about his ex's, hello naman ako pa ba ang maiintimidate nila? Yun lang, I just don't like hearing about them. Gaya nga ng sabi ng tatay ko sa comment niya sa aking status (yes nagcocomment ang tatay ko sa fb ko):

" Its more on RESPECT anak that's why we seldom talk about our past relationships....."

With that being said, nagbati naman na kami ni Parker and nagsorry na siya. He said the things that happened last year were all in the past and nagbago na daw siya this year. He promised na magpapakabait na daw siya pagdating sa topic na yan. Buti naman. I'm really hoping kasi nakakapagod din makipagtalo no.

Though I must say, Parker and I haven't had any big fights lately. Thank you lord. Oh and Parker if you'e reading this, don't get mad ah. Alam mo naman ako, lahat blinoblog ko. Basta love na love kita kahit pasaway ka minsan.

Ok tama na, nagiging ka-kornihan na ang usapang ito. Kaya sa lahat ng mga ex ni Parker, asa kayo! Hindi niyo kaya ang powers ng mga bilbil ko!

Teacher Teacher!

A couple of days ago, I found one of my teachers in high school on Facebook. I sent her a message after I was sure that it was her. Syempre siguraduhin ko diba? Mamaya ibang tao pala eh warlahin pa ako.

So ayun nga, nag message ako sa fezbuk.

I was surprised yesterday when I got to work. I opened my Facebook as I normally do and I saw a friend request from her. Eh syempre magiinarte pa ba ako, eh di inaccept ko agad. Her name is Glenda Guillamon but she goes by Glenda Bernardo now. She's married now because her last name is different na.

Bigla siyang nag-IM at ayun, nagkwekwentuhan kami buong umaga. Dedma kung may work ako. Kesehodang may ginagawa ako at bawal mag facebook sa pc ko. Buti nalang may facebook sa phone ko.

I was happy that she still remembers me considering I was her student about 9 years ago. She told me what she remembers about me. She was right on the money hahaha.

Its funny because I've had hundreds of teachers my whole life but I remember only a few. Those few are those who made quite an impression on me. The reason I remember her is because though she would normally scold me for being too noisy or rowdy in class, she'd always push me to do my best specially in writing.

Naalala ko may kasalanan ako sa kanya noon. Exams noon tapos pinacheck niya sa akin ang test papes ng mga higher years, eh since nagreview ako pag uwi eh hindi ko natapos i-check exams nila. When I told her the next day na hindi ko natapos, I thought she would get mad pero hindi naman. It was fine with her.

Masaya ako na friends na kami sa fezbuk. I rarely accept friend requests from people from my old school for the simple reason that I do not remember most of them.

When I checked her FB profile in the aftenoon I saw this:


‎"Just had a very extraordinary day... gave me a feeling of fulfillment in the profession I am into...tnx to my former student at SVS, Anton... tnx for all the nice words you wrote... now I can truly say "I am a teacher!"

I was touched by this. Its funny because back then, she was one of the few who believed in me. One of those few who saw potential in me. One day i'll tell her about the things I've achieved over the past few years and I will proudly tell her, 

"You were one of the reasons I have this list.  You were one of the reasons I tried to do better. You were one of those who inspired me to get out of my box and do more than what I thought I could do. Thank you."

So Ma'am, I am glad that I was able to re-connect with you. Thank you for believing in me before. It meant a lot.

And would you believe it, she reads my blog pala! Havey!

Eksena Sa Jeep

Pauwi ako galing work at nasa paradahan ako ng jeep.

Pumasok ako ng jeep at pumwesto malapit sa harapan kasi puno na sa likod.

May pumasok na lalaking nakasling-bag at umupo sa tabi ko.

Macho si kuya. Bruskong brusko. Yung tipong kaya niyang butasin ang pader gamit ng mga masels niya.

Half way through the trip eh napansin ko na hindi matigil si kuya sa kakatxt.

As in todo text. Nacurious tuloy ako.

Since sobrang laki nung font ng phone niya, madaling basahin ang sinusulat niya.

Pasimple akong sumilip sa tinatype niya.

Nagulat ako. Tinadaan kong mabuti yung tinext niya.

"Baka naman hindi ka niya tinetxt kasi hinihintay ka niya. May attraction ka naman sa kanya. Naamin mo naman na gusto mo siya. Kapag naramdamaman mo ang lubos at busilak na pagmamahal isang libong saya ang mararamdaman mo sa kanya. Go gurl. I'm so happy for you atcheng."


Oh diba? Havey na havey magtext si kuya.


Napangiti nalang ako bigla. Pigil sa pagtawa ng malakas.

Binalik ni kuya ang phone niya sa bag niya at naglabas ng barya.

"Mah-nong bahyahd poh", saaaaabeeeee ni kuya.

Dun ko lang napansin na ang sling bag niya eh purse pala.

Ok. Confirmed. Si kuya na may masels eh isa palang beki.

Haaay. Kaya nga ba naeenjoy kong sumakay ng jeep eh.

Kung ano ano nae-encounter ko.

Kayo? Anong happenings ang meron pag nasa jeep kayo?

Meh Ganun?!

Last week I received an email from a reader of mine. Since hindi ko alam kung out siya or what so let's name him Alex.

It was the typical "keep up the good work" message pero may binanggit siya about love and he felt empty daw. Or something like that. So I replied with some unsolicited advice and here's what he had to say.
*******************


Anton.
Si Anton ang dahilan ng lahat ng ito.
Oo. Ikaw nga.

May mga oras sa opisina na wala ako magawa kundi ang mag-internet, kaya naman napagdiskitahan ko ang pagbabasa ng blogs. Madami dami na din akong nabasa na blogs.  Merong katatawanan, kapilyuhan, experiences sa sex, buhay may asawa o may pamilya, trips around the Philippines, kwentong kabaklaan, mga kwento tungkol sa mga sa kanilang normal na araw, at syempre, hindi mawawala jan ang kwento tungkol sa pag ibig. Iba iba. Pero iisa lamang ang layunin ng lahat ng bloggers – ang mailahad ang nilalaman ng kanilang isip, importante man o hindi ito sa kanilang mga tagasubaybay.

Sa  lahat ng klase ng blogs na aking nabanggit, paborito ko ang pinakahuli – tungkol sa pag-ibig. Ito kasi ang bagay na sa tingin ko lahat ng tao ay meron. Katulad din lang ng blogs ang mga kwento ng pag ibig. Iba iba. Pero kahit na anong klase ng kwento na yan, kwentong pag ibig pa din yan.

Nang mabasa ko ang blog ni Anton tungkol sa buhay pag-ibig nya, dalawang emosyon ang aking naramdaman. Saya at pag-asam. Masaya ako para ay Anton at nakahanap siya ng isang Parker na sobrang nagmamahal sa kanya at tanggap kung anong meron at wala siya.  Ang sayang isipin na ang pundasyon ng kanilang samahan ay pag-ibig. Pagkatapos ng saya, dumating ako sa realisasyon na “sana ako din, makahanap ng isang Parker.”

Oo. Umaasa ako na sana ang buhay pag-ibig ko ay maging katulad ni Anton – makulay at masaya.
******************

Naloka naman ako sa reply niya. Parang testimonial lang sa Friendster. Actually hindi niya alam na blinog ko to hihihi. Na-touch lang kasi ako. As I've written in a previous blog post, Parker and I don't have a perfect relationship but we're perfectly happy. We talk things over. We don't let our fights go on for more than 24 hours. At syempre laging may lambingan moments hehehe.

Kahit na laging busy tong si Paker, he finds time to call me or text me. Kahit isang 'I love you' na text is enough para pasayahin ang araw ko. At sobrang haba ng pasensiya niya sa akin.

Ako naman I understand that he has other priorities aside from me. Pag di siya makareply o masagot phone niya because he's busy with something, it's fine with me because he makes it a point to text or call me in the morning and we talk on the phone or on Skype before we sleep. Kahit sobrang pagod or sobrang busy we find time for each other every day.

Kaya sayo Alex, your prince is out there somewhere, malay mo this very moment iniisip niya kung nasan ka. Kung hinahanap mo siya. Basta don't be afraid to love because from that we learn, we grow, and if we get hurt, we teach ourselves not to make the same mistakes again.

Gaya ng sabi ko sayo, when you meet the person who will love you for who you are yet love you more for who you are not, then keep the person and never let go because that's the sign that you have met the right person to make you complete and fill the things that are missing in your life.

I hope you find love and happiness.

Las Di Sa Boon Dok

I promised Parker that I would take him to Oh My Gulay and so I did. We first met up with Lyve in SM because we had to leave our things there since we already checked out of the hotel.

Jacky joined us after an hour because she came from Dagupan. Jetley arived at aound 4PM. Ay grabe laugh trip nang magsama sama kaming lahat.

The lesbos... I mean ladies of my life.

We ordered about half of what was available on the menu but we paid only 1000+. I can't remember exactly how much. Parker said he loves their salad. Oh My Gulay is where Jacky and I used to hang out for hours back in college. It's a good thing that the place has never changed. 

Though mas konti na ang servings nila ngayon I must admit. Dati good for two ang food nila. Ngayon eh good for one nalang pero pareho parin ang presyo and I don't like their deserts. All of their deserts are variations of crepes but the problem is the crepes are too thick and nalalasahan ang harina.

For dinner, the three of us ate at Joey Pepperoni as suggested by Jacky. Masarap din ah though medyo bland ang pasta nila. 

Ayan nanaman sila. Lyve looks kinda... dead... here. Or sleepy. Maybe sleepy.

At around 8:00 umalis na kami nila Lyve para pumunta ng bus terminal. Si Jacky nagpaiwan na sa SM kasi imi-meet pa niya yung ibang friends niya. 

Nung nasa bus terminal na kami, dumating naman itong friend namin na si AJ. Ayan nakilala na ni Parker ang mga friends ko sa Baguio. 

Finally after how many months, he's finally met Darnell, Lyve, Jacky, Jet, and Ajang. The people who mean so much to me.

Nung paalis na yung bus, yumakap si Lyve sa akin. She didn't have to say anything. Her hug alone said so much already.

"Now do you know why I'm home sick most of the time? Now you know why I miss my friends so much and why I talk about them a lot.", sabi ko habang nasa bus kami.

Ngumiti si Parker at hinawakan ang kamay ko.

I don't think he's ever seen me laugh so hard. That vacation no matter how quick it was, Parker got to meet some of the most important people in my life. He heard stories of my life back in Baguio before we met. He saw a glimpse of how it was being with my friends.

My house may be here in Manila but my home will always be in Baguio because the people I've left there are not just my friends. They're my family. And now Parker is part of that family and my home is also with him.

Burnham At Night

Sabi ni Lyve eh pumunta daw kami ni Parker ng Burnham ng gabi dahil maganda daw ang ginawa nila dun. So before meeting up with Darnell eh nagdate muna kami sa Burnham Park.

Ang sweet lang no? 

The lights. The cold night air. The couples around the park. It felt so romantic.

Oh diba? Sinabayan ko ang lights ng Burnham Park.

I enjoyed walking around Burnham with Parker. I hope he did too.

Isang Gabi Sa Le Azul...

At around 1PM nagsi-uwi na kami kasi may shift pa si Lyve kinagabihan at kagagaling ng work nila Darnell at Marj. Sakto din kasi 1PM ang check-in time at kelangan ko ding matulog kahit 2 hours lang.

Sa Blue Mountain Hotel kami nagstay. In fairness mura siya and the room is good for three plus it has a terrace and a view of the mountains. Though I think focal point eh ang mga bahay instead of the mountains.

Nakatulog naman ako sa awa ng diyos which was important kasi lalabas kami kinagabihan.

Sinundo namin si Darnell para mag-inuman sa Le Azul. Sensya na walang pics, pano ba naman kasi etong paranoid kong asawa eh pinagdedelete yung mga pics sa phone niya ng makauwi siya sa kanila kasi may humiram daw ng phone niya eh bigla siyang nagpanic. Ayun wala na lahat ng pics nung gabing yun. Haaay...

Anyway mabalik tayo sa Le Azul, tinuruan ni Darnell itong si Parker ng mga tips kung paano ako patigilin pag mainit ang ulo ko. Sabi ni Darnell eh dapat daw habaan ang pasensya sa akin at pag nagagalit daw ako eh i-ignore nalang daw ako. Ganda ng advice no?

Pero in fairness may point itong si Darnell. Kelangan talagang habaan ang pasensya pagdating sa akin.

Tumayo si Parker para mag CR. 

"Hoy ikaw ha, yang temper mo!", sabi ni Darnell.

"Bakit nanaman?!"

"Kontrolin mo yang temper mo paminsan minsan. Alam mo ang mga mali mo noon dun sa isa, wag mo nang ulitin yun"

"Oo nga. Eh eto ba anong tingin mo sa kanya?"

"Mukhang mahal ka. Pasensyoso sayo kaya magpakabait ka. He looks like the emotional type."

"Anong emotional pinagsasasabi mo diyan?"

"Yung tipong konti lang eh nagdadamdam na kaya magpakabait ka"

"Oo nga in fairness."

Haaay...sermonan ba ako?! 

At least nung gabing yun nakapag-bonding si Paker at Darnell.

Inuman eh. Tatanggi ba tong dalawa?!

Sa Boon-dok Parin...

Ngumiti ako ng makita ko si Lyve.

Ngumiti din siya. 

Pagpasok niya ng gate, sinalubong ko siya at yumakap siya sa akin. Mahigpit na mahigpit. Akala mo 10 years kaming hindi nagkita. 

In fairness may pinagbago tong si Lyve. For one, she lost weight. Skinny bitch.  She stopped wearing glasses as well and started using contacts. Bagay sa kanya ang walang salamin.

"So why did you stop wearing glasses?" I asked.

"It messes up my mascara", she answered.

My jaw dropped. I never thought I'd live to see the day when I would hear those words from her.

I asked her to show me her tattoos.

There are Lyve's tits... I mean tats. They look really good up close and the details on the compass are amazing. I really thought she'd have one place in her boobs. Alas, she didn't.

At around 10AM gumising na tong si Parker kasi ang ingay daw namin. Pano ba naman kasi mega kwentuhan kami nitong si Lyve. Syempre mega yosi din. Lumabas ng kwarto si Parker at bumati kay Lyve. Nagtext bigla si Darnell na nasa Gecko daw sila ni Marj. Punta daw kami dun for breakfast.

"Hilamos lang ako", sabi ni Parker.

"Ok", sabi ko.

"He's cute ah. He looks much better in person", sabi ni Lyve pag-alis ni Parker.

"I know", sagot ko

"And he has a nice ass"

"I know", sagot ko sabay tawa.

Nagtaxi kami and despite the traffic eh dumating narin kami sa Gecko.

Ayun nakilala narin ni Parker si Lyve, Darnell at Marj. 

After eating, naglakad lakad na kami sa Session at Burnham para sa Session Road in Bloom at Burnham Park Market Encounter. Can I say na sa sobrang dami ng tao eh sobrang naiirita ako.

There's Lyve. She looks so different now. 

Lyve, Darnell, Marj, and Me

I know papatayin ako ni Lyve dahil nilagay ko to but I just couldn't help myself.

(To be continued)

Sa Boon-dok...

About two weeks ago, I decided na hindi pwedeng hindi ako umakyat ng Baguio for Panagbenga. So I did what I normally do in spur of the moment decisions like this. Kinulit ko ang mga officemates ko para makipagpalit ng day off sa akin. The only catch is, I would have to work for 10 days straight.

Ok fine. Go. Kesehodang gumapang akong papasok dahil sa pagod eh gagawin ko makaakyat lang ako.

So ayun, kinulit ko din si Parker na sumama sa akin. Pwede ba namang umakyat ako na wala siya? Syempre I want him to meet my friends back home.

So Friday night, pumunta na kami sa bus terminal. Dapat sa Victory Liner kami pero kamusta naman, 4AM ang susunod na biyahe. Very wrong.

Buti nalang nung nasa taxi kami eh may nakitang bus terminal si Parker na papuntang Baguio ang biyahe. So ayun naglakad kami papuntang Dagupan Bus Lines.

Nakakatuwa kasi eto ang pinakaunang vacation namin ni Parker. Habang nasa biyahe kami minsan sasandal ako sa kanya o kaya sasandal siya bigla sa akin. Tapos yung ulo niya nasa balikat ko. Eeeeee kinikilig ako hehehe.

Mga bandang alas-singko naalimpungatan ako.

"Malapit na tayo sa Baguio", sabi ni Parker.

Gising na pala siya.

"Hindi pa", sagot ko nakapikit pa.

"Nasa Baguio na tayo papa"

"Wala pa nga"

"Tingin ka sa labas"

Hinawi ko yung kurtina nung bintana at nakita ko ang sobrang daming ilaw sa may kabundukan.

"Ay oo nga no!" sabi ko. Ayun nagising tuloy ang diwa ko.

In fairness, umalis kami ng 12:15MN ng Manila at dumating kami ng Baguio ng 5:15AM. O diba?

Since masyado pang maaga, hindi pa kami makapagcheck-in sa hotel kasi may tao pa sa room namin. Tinawagan ko si Darnell para dun muna kami sa bahay kasi pagod na pagod tong si Parker at kelangan niyang matulog.

So dumaan kami ng office niya at kinuha ko yung susi ng bahay. Pagdating namin dun, humiga tong si Parker at yumakap sa akin. Wala pang 5 minutes eh borlogs na. Humihilik hilik pa.

Tinext ko ang isa sa mga kaibigan ko at sinabi ko kung asan kami.

Patulog na ako. Nararamdaman ko na ang antok ng biglang tumunog ang phone ko. May nagtext.

"Im already here"

Bumangon ako. Lumabas ng room. Binuksan ang pinto at may nakita akong papasok ng gate.

Si Lyve.

(To be continued...)

It Gets Better

To help the Trevor Project in the US, the young generation of Broadway stars came up with this song. For those who don't know about the Trevor Project, it's a support group for the LGBT community who experience bullying and homophobia from society.

The title of the song is "It Gets Better". Its an amazing song and the message of the song is so uplifting. This isn't a mainstream pop song so don't expect it to be. But I suggest you listen to it and the meaning of the song.



I lahveet!!!

On A Monday Night

 

Sa bahay.

Kasama ko nanaman si Aludra. Ganito kasi, dahil binilhan ako ni Mama ng electric mixer, sinipag ako mag bake.

So ayun, tinawag ko si Aludra para pumunta sa bahay para naman may ka-kwentuhan ako diba at para matikman niya ang gagawin kong banana bread.

So habang naghahalo halo ako, nakaupo si Aludra at pinapanood ako. Syempre kwentuhan galore.

Nakakatuwa kasi para siyang bata, tinatanong bakit ko kelangan sukatin ng saktong sakto yung ingredients. Bakit ko kelangan i-sift ang dry ingredients. It's fun baking pag may kasama ka.

Nung nilagay ko na sa oven yung ginawa ko, ayun pumunta kami ni Aludra sa sala kasi 1 hour bago ma-bake yung banana bread.

As usual wala katapusang kwentuhan nanaman.

Eh biglang napadpad nanaman ang usapan sa aming mga buhay pag-ibig. Nagkwekwento ako tungkol kay Parker, si Aludra naman nagkwekwento tungkol sa jowa niya.

"Yung jowa ko hindi talaga siya showy", sabi ni Aludra.

"Ganun din naman si Parker", sagot ko.

"Even if he did cheat on me before, ok lang. Oo masakit pero hello? Ipagpapalit niya ako? Sa ganda kong to?!", sabi ni Aludra.

"Eh diba nga ang turo mo sa akin, basta alam niya kung kanino siya umuuwi eh ok na yun"

"Correct! Kasi at the end of the day, kahit sino man ang kinakalantari niya eh sa akin parin siya umuuwi kasi nga maganda ako!"

Nagtawanan kami bigla.

"Saka eto pa, since hindi siya showy eh hindi siya nag-a-i love you lagi pero ok lang yun. Sanay na ako na ako ang gumagawa ng mga bagay bagay yet the small things that he does eh sobrang na-aappreciate ko naman. Ganun kasi yun eh, kahit hindi na niya sabihin eh makikita mo naman na mahal ka nung tao. Pag dumating sa point na na-aapreciate mo yung mga maliliit na bagay na ginagawa niya, kahit wala na yang i love you i love you na yan eh alam niyo na na mahal niyo ang isa't-isa."

Ngumiti ako.

"Puta ka! Iblo-blog mo nanaman to no?!", sabi niya bigla.

Ngumiti lang ako ulit.

Anu ba yan, ke umaga o gabi may mga emo moments kami nitong si Aludra.

No wonder we're friends.