Saturday, October 2, 2010

Wake Me Up When September Ends

September has been a whirlwind month for me. Thank God it's over. For the past few years, I've always hated this month. Theres just so many things in my past that remind me of bad things that happened in this month. Though I have to say that this year, it was a bit different because I did not hate the month completely. There are things that happened that made me actually like it.

First off, I publicly came out. Whoopee! I came out to my friends, officemates, almost everyone in my life. Aside from that, Parker and I celebrated out first month together and even if we argue at times we become closer and love each other more everyday. I also got regularized in our department this month. I made new friends, learned new things, realized things.

I try not to remember about the things or people that hurt me before which led me to hating this month and I don't want to harbor that much anger inside me anymore because it's not healthy because no matter how self-absorbed this may sound, I do not deserve what those people did to me. I admitted my faults, yet they still left me when I needed them. I opened myself up to them and they left me hanging over the edge. 

I guess it's high time to let go of all of that anger and rage and just move on. It's time para kalimutan ko na lahat ng yun kasi no matter how painful it may have been at that time, it made me who I am now. When Eleanor Roosevelt said that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent, the woman had a point. It's about time I forget the past and look at a different future.

I have my friends, I have my family and I have the love of my life with me. So kung kayo na nanakit sa akin at iniwan ako nung kailangan ko kayo eh nababasa nyo to, eto lang ang masasabi ko sa inyo. One last line to let go of everything:

"I'm burning the bridge between all of us. I'm letting go and never looking back. Look at me and where I am then look at where you are. I don't have the perfect life, not even close, but I am genuinely happy and contented. I have people who care about me and love me unconditionally. So mamatay kayo sa inggit. Wapak!"

Walang bahid ng bitterness ano? ahihihi.


Traveliztera said...

awww well congrats for coming out! and congrats for realizing that you have all the loving people around, enough for you to shrug off all those who may have hurt you. :)

Adam said...

Hey hey. Nice blog btw. It's so makulit hehe.