Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Ring... ring... ring...
"Hello?", she answered.
"Ay sa wakas you finally answered the damn phone!", I said.
"BES!!!", she screamed.
I haven't talked to my bestfriend Jackie in a long time. With her schedule and my schedule, we haven't really got the chance to talk.
I did chat with her on Facebook, briefly, a few days ago and that's when I told her that I broke up with Parker.
It's been almost three weeks, but it's only now that I got the chance to talk to her.
"Pasensya ka na bes. Hindi man lang kita nadamayan noon.", she apologetically said.
"It's fine. I'm okay naman and my friends here have been such good listeners. Makes dealing with things much easier."
"So honestly, how are you?", she asked.
"For the better part of it, I'm ok. Of course there are days when I get upset. Days when I look for his voice. But I find ways to deal with it. Work is such a great outlet for me. Oh, and shopping.", I answered with a laugh at the end.
"Good. Very good. So have you and Parker talked ever since the break-up?"
"Yes. He text's me every now and then. He said he checks my Facebook and Twitter to see how I am. But we don't talk on the phone or online."
"Ok narin siguro yun. Makes the grieving process easier.", she said.
"Yeah. I guess."
"Bes I have a question."
"Ano yun?", I asked.
"What if Parker actually makes an effort para makipagbalikan sayo? Yung tipong gagawin niya lahat. Mag-all out effort para suyuin ka. Pumunta dyan, haranahin ka. Mga dramang ganyan. Makikipagbalikan ka sa kanya?"
I though for a second. I wanted to watch my words. But then again, this is my bestfriend. There's nothing I can hide from this crazy bitch.
"Of course I would", I answered. "But you see here's the thing, kilala ko siya so I know that that will never happen. He's not like that. Hindi niya gagawin yun. If he wanted to get back together, sana ginawa na niya. Kung gusto niya akong suyuin, sana hindi tumitigil ang pag ring ng phone ko sa tawag or txt niya. Sana pumunta siya dito the day I broke up with him. If he couldn't come here, there have been several weekends na pwede niyang gamitin para pumunta dito so we can work things out. Pero wala. When we were still together, he once told me na pag dumating ang araw na maghiwalay kami, he would do everything to win me back dahil ayaw niyang mawala ako. The part of me that thinks did not believe him and for good reason para hindi na ako umasa."
"Pero in a way umaasa ka parin diba?", she asked. But tactless as she is, she was right.
"Oo naman. There's still a part of me na umaasa. It's only been weeks. But I have to be realistic. He's not the type na susuyuin ako. And what pisses me off so much is that until now, sinasabi niyang hindi niya maintindihan kung saan nanggagaling ang galit ko. He doesn't understand how I could have been pushed so far that I had to break up with him so as good of an idea it is na pupunta siya dito, yayakapin ako at tatanungin na maging kami ulit, I know it will never happen", I answered.
Harsh I know. But that's the truth.
"You know I really wish I could give you good advice. Normally kasi ikaw ang nag aadvice sa akin ng gagawin eh."
"Yeah I know. There's a reason I'm the smart one and you're the pretty one."
She laughed so hard, napatawa din ako.
"Sige eto nalang, keep yourself busy. The distractions help. Yan yung lagi mong sinasabi sa akin eh pag nagbrebreak kami ng ex ko noon."
I laughed again.
"But I'm glad you're okay", she said.
"Yeah. I was actually thinking na magiiyak ako habang nakasandal sa pader. So far hindi ko pa naman ginagawa yun", I said.
"Alam mo okay lang na umiyak ka, Para mailabas mo din. Eventually, you'll wake up one morning and feel 100% okay."
"I know bes. It's not my first break-up", I responded.
"You know, it's great hearing your voice. It's one of those times when I really miss you."
"I miss you too bes."
We talked about a few more things such as work and the things that keep us busy.
I may not get to see her as often as I'd wan't to, but it makes me happy to know that during the times when I need her, faith intervenes and finds a way para makapag-usap kami.
"Lagi kang nandyan para makinig pag nagbrebreak kami ng ex ko noon. You always gave me good advice. Hindi man kita mabigyan ng matinong advice ngayon but I'm here to listen to you coz it's your turn to talk and mine to listen", she said.
Napangiti nalang ako.