Monday, April 22, 2013
Dreams and Reality
The night that Ellaine and Bongga were at the house was memorable. It was the first time that the three of us got together after a VERY LONG TIME. I was happy because I love these two and it sucks that I don't get to see them as often as I used to.
While waiting for dinner, Ellaine and I were at the dirty kitchen talking. I have no idea where Bongga was. She was probably inside playing on her iPod Touch.
The topic moved from work, to personal, to love.
"So how long have you two been together?", she asked.
"Well, we've been dating for more than a year but officially as boyfriends, 8 months. Our official anniversary is in August." I answered.
"You two are so happy together. Nakakairita." she said sabay tawa.
"Wala lang," sagot niya habang tumatawa parin.
I took a puff from my cigarette.
"He's a great guy," then I paused, "and that's what scares me."
"Why? Do you think he's gonna do something to hurt you like your dumbass ex?"
"Honestly, no. That's not what scares me." I answered without missing a beat.
She looked at me with bewilderment and the asked, "What then?"
I paused for a second.
"That it's too good to be true." I answered. "That's what scares me."
She looked at me like I was crazy.
"Let me put it this way, imagine something you wanna buy. It's something you really really want but it's very expensive and you know that getting it would be close to impossible. The one day, you finally have it in your hands and you are in complete disbelief. You've had it for quite sometime now, but you still can't believe that you have it. That's what I feel. He's what I've been looking for and I just can't believe that he's real."
I think she got what I was trying to say and finally, I was making some sense.
"You know what I went through with my ex, even though I don't acknowledge it that often, a part of me was left scared and traumatized. I never thought that I'd find someone who can be loyal, someone who wont hurt me, someone who can make me feel happy and safe and secure. Then Gregory shows up when I least expected it."
Ellaine was silent. She was listening to every word I said.
"Gregory makes me feel loved and with him I feel secure and safe and it scares me because it feels surreal. It's like, everyday is like a dream and I'm afraid that one day I might wake up. I just never thought I'd find someone like him."
She looked at me and said, "I can see that he makes you happy, bitch."
I took another puff from my cigarette.
"He does. He really does." I answered.