Tinamaan ako dito ah!

"Alam niyo, kahit na ano pa ang sabihin niyong genre ang gusto niyong pasukin sa pagsusulat, babalik at babalik din ang tema ng mga sinusulat niyo sa mga taong mahal niyo. Makikita niyo siya sa bida ng kuwento niyo, sa kalaban, at sa mga extra. Siya ang langit at lupa ng nobela, sine, dialog, patalastas, or dula na isusulat niyo. Kung erotic story ang isusulat niyo, isusulat niyo lahat ng gusto mong gawin sa kama sa minamahal mo, kahit ideny mo pa, at sabihing my love is pure, deep inside, lahat tayo, in heat.

We all want to be serious writers, pero ang totoo, we want to write the greatest love story of our lives, and ang pinakamimithi natin is, na maging totoo sana ito.


Mga writers ang pinakamahirap maging dyowa or kaibigan kasi we expect a lot from the people in our lives. High-maintenance people tayo kasi, often times, the people around us don't behave like the people in our stories. Tandaan niyo, sa mga kuwento, lahat may explanation. Sa totoong buhay, hindi mo maintindihan kung bakit ganun kumilos ang boyfriend or girlfriend mo, bakit feeling mo insensitive ang bestfriend mo, or bakit nakakainis ang magulang mo.

Deep inside, we're nothing but immature brilliant children showing the world the contents of our diaries, hoping for someone to understand us."

-An excerpt from Bookie's post during the lecture of his Prof in UP.

Tinamaan ako dito, sapul na sapul. It made me realize that, yes, writers are the hardest to fall in love with because of their expectations. Writers create a world of happily ever afters, with romantic candle-lit dinners, white picket fences, victorian houses and shit. It's not easy for a writer to fall in love, and it's not easy to fall in love with a writer.  We are just too complicated, and wish of things in bubble dreams.

We all want to be the heroes in our stories, to save the maiden and live happily in a land far far away. But some stories end with the hero losing everything, having nothing left to himself. How about you? How does your story end?

Buhay ng Mass Comm?

...ay nakaka-stress.

...ay nakaka-pagod.

...nakaka inis.

...nakakairita lalo na pag may supertiority complex ang mga kasama mo.

...nakakagulo sa body clock mo dahil wala kang tulog.

...matututunan mong pumasok na mukhang fresh kahit 2 days nang hindi naliligo dahil sa shooting.

...malalaman mo difference nang point and shoot na camera at DSLR.

...ubusan ng pera lalo na pag na-reject magazine, story board, advertisement, or newspaper layout mo.

...puyatan ng ilang weeks para sa pag-gawa ng indie film.

...pagod at hirap mag conceptualize para sa Music Video mo.

...Effort maghanap ng Mass Media related na topic para sa thesis mo.

...Effort mong tanggapin panlalait ng Prof mo sa products mo na idedefense sa Advertising Class.

...Effort mo na i-check every spelling, structure, subject verb agreement shit ng mga article mo.

...Effort mong pakisamahan ang mga taong nagmamagaling when in fact their work is mediocre at best.

...Ang buhay ng isang Mass Comm student/graduate ay fast paced, always on the go, laging busy.

...Ang buhay ng isang Mass Comm ay magulo...

...pero nakakamiss din pala...=(

Love...

It means trusting yourself with someone who has seen you at your worst and loves you anyway.

It means teasing each other and laughing at inside jokes nobody but only the two of you understand.

It means coming home from a tiring day at work and feeling better when you see the person smile.

It means feeling safe enough to talk about anything and having the patience to work out disagreements.

It means waking up and singing in the shower because you are thinking of that special person.

It means counting on someone who sympathizes when you had a bad day.

...worries about you when you are gone for too long.

...listens to you talk even if the topic is uninteresting.

...stares at you while you sleep making sure you're sleeping soundly.

...And always welcomes you with open arms no matter what.

PS: Sabi ni Mariah mag-blog daw ako tungkol sa love kasi wala akong maisip i-blog eh. Mamaya may mag-react nanaman.

Mga Maria ng buhay ko...

Eto ang mga Maria ng buhay ko. Dahil sa kanila, nagkakaroon ng sigla at kulay ang aking buhay at blog. They are the friends others would kill to have and I am lucky na parte sila ng buhay ko. Aminado ako that I am not the nicest person in the world, but I am blessed to have known them because no matter how annoying and insane I am, they still put up with my shenanigans.

 Jackie.

My bestfriend, my soulmate. I have blogged about her a lot of times. I love her and I am so proud of her. Walang boring moment sa kanya, kahit na sa tawa or dramahan, she's always been there. She's seen me at my best, at my worst, and at my lowest. She's also very supportive of my decisions. Ganito nga nya ako i-motivate eh:

Me: Bes I wanna lose weight.
Jacky: Hay naku bes ganito lang yan. Naalala mo yung t-shirt sa SM na gusto mong bilhin pero hindi kasya sayo? Every time na kakain ka, yun ang isipin mo. Mag-focus ka sa tshirt na yun at alalahanin mo na anytime pwedeng mabili yun or ma-out-of-stock. Bawat subo mo ng pagkain, isipin mo ang t-shirt na yun na naghihintay sayo. Kaya dapat talaga na magpapayat ka.
Me: You're right.
Jacky: Tara kain tayo ice cream libre kita.
Me: Leche!

Lyve.

Probably the most blogged person here. She is my pseudo-wife or whatever the hell that shit means. Ang pinaka-selfless na tao na kilala ko pagdating sa akin and I have never given her enough credit for that.  Kahit na minsan ayaw nya, iniintindi nalang nya ako. She hates me and loves and hates that fact. She is one of the few people who I openly admit na mas matalino sa akin and mas magaling. I will never forget nung naaksidente ako at pinabili ko sya ng fried chicken sa Andoks at isang litro ng mountain dew sa 7/11 at dinala nya sa bahay. Sya nurse ko nun eh. We've kissed a dozen times, and para sa amin walang malisya yun. Oh and by the way she's really scared of my mom. Ewan ko ba kung bakit eh magkakilala naman sila.

Anna Mae.

Ang unang ikinasal sa aming lahat. Mae is the person na akala ko hindi ko makakasundo kasi iba circle of friends namin. Isang araw, nag videoke kaming lahat sa quantum kasama si Mae tapos ayun biglang magkakasama na kami lagi. O diba? What an awe-inspiring story of how two people became friends. Aside from Lyve, Mae was one of the those na sumalo sa akin nung tinalikuran ako ng lahat ng mga kaibigan ko dahil mga pakshet sila at alam kong walang pupuntahan mga buhay nila (bitter?). She welcomed me with open arms and made me realize that I deserve better people in my life. I will be forever grateful for that.

Ayan tapos na ang Baguio. Manila naman ngayon.

Bongga.

Ang unang naging ka-close ko sa office. Nasa RCBC pa kami nun. Senior palang sya nun at talagang sa kanya ako tumabi kahit na medyo natatakot ako kasi feeling ko nun pag may tinanong ako sa kanya eh baka bigla akong bigwasan. Bongga is super nice and kasundo ko sa lahat ng bagay. Of all the conversations I've had with Bongga, there is one I will never forget. And it goes something like this:

Me: You were from PeopleSupport diba?
Bongga: Yeah.
Me: Ako din! 2008. Ano account mo?
Bongga: Travel. Ikaw?
Me: Financial. Kilala mo si Ryan Buquir?
Bongga: Who doesn't know Ryan Buquir?!

And as they say, the rest is history.

Libby.

Si Sigma Liberty. Ang never kong inexpect na magiging ka-close ko. Batch mate ko siya sa training eh sobrang tahimik nya nun. As in hindi nagsasalita. Pag kausap mo tinititigan ka lang. Tapos nung nasa makati office pa kami, tumatabi sya sa akin nung nag-cacalls na kami tapos lagi kong pinagtritripan yung buhok nya kasi mas dry pa sa papel. Tapos nung ma-promote kaming apat sa Poker, aba, unang araw ng training naka-rebond at naka-sleveless ang puta. Parang hindi si Libby ang pumasok nun. Pero natuwa ako sa transformation nya, ibang iba aura ni Libby ngayon, parang araw-araw nadidiligan inspired. Alam nya mga drama ng buhay ko and I'm happy she's always there to lend a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.

And last but not the least...*drum roll*...

Mariah.

Ito ang madalas kong banggitin at madalas na nagcocomment sa blog ko na si Mariah at ang kanyang mahihiwagang salbabida. Ang taong walang preno magsalita gaya ko. I still remember the first time we met, nakaupo sya sa lobby ng office kasi first day nya nun. Eh ako naman, kinausap ko sya bigla nakipagkwentuhan ako kasi naman 1 hour pa bago mag-start shift ko. Nagulat sya kasi, ok daw ako, friendly daw. Ako? Friendly? Oh c'mon. Pero ito ang aking bagong singing partner, sabi nya ako lang daw nakakaabot sa taas ng boses nya. Tenkyu naman. Super kulit tong babaeng to gaya ko kaya laging laughtrip.  Ito ang isang bagay tungkol kay Mariah, mahal na mahal nya si...*bleep* oops bawal banggitin ang pangalan kasi alam ng taong yun ang blog ko. Pero I have to hand it to Mariah, pagdating sa tawa at luha nandyan sya para sa akin. At nagulat ang mga friends namin kasi kaya kong buhatin si Mariah. Narinig ko narin boses nito sa phone pag may call sya. Pang pinay.com with webcam assist. Tignan nyo naman picture nya diba? Pang front-page ng Bulgar. Hehehe

Sila ang mga nagpapasaya sa akin at nagbibigay kulay sa aking mundo. Oh God I love my friends.

Worth the wait...

I really love the message of this song. The video/slideshow looks like crap so wag nyo nang tignan, pakinggan nyo nalang. I dont even know how I found this song and I'm not a KC fan pero nagustuhan ko talaga to.

I hope YOU like it...



Lyrics:

You ask how I've been

Coz you don't wanna

Miss out

On Anything

We hang up the phone

I wonder when

I'll be

With you again

In distance

In silence

You're closer to me

But then,

I guess

Tomorrow with you

Is uncertain

A long breath

Of nothing.

*But where do you want to

Run off to

I'll be with you running

How high do you want to

Fly up to

I'll be with you soaring

What do you want to say?

Should we go on this way,

Hiding

&

Hiding

&

Hiding...

Well, when I look at you

I know that it's worth

The wait.

A small world like ours today

Could never stop itself

From hoping

For love to taste freedom

For lovers to hold on

To something

When you grab my attention

I know you are searching

You're searching...

Cos when I'm not looking

You hold out your hand

And you pull me in,

Again.

*But where do you want to

Run off to

I'll be with you running

How high do you want to

Fly up to

I'll be with you soaring

What do you want to say?

Should we go on this way,

Hiding

&

Hiding

&

Hiding...

Well, when I look at you

I know that it's worth

The wait.

PS: Kids pagbigayan nyo na ako, minsan minsan lang to. ^_^

This is for you...

How I wish I could make your pain go away...

How I wish I can show you the world from my point of view...

How I wish that I could be the guy who makes you smile...

The guy who wont make you cry...

The guy you could come home to and make you feel better after a tiring day...

And give you chocolates and shit when you're upset...

I wish I was the guy who you could be proud of...

Who serves you breakfast in bed...

Who's the last one you see before sleeping...

and the first one you see when you wake up...

I won't promise you the sun and moon, but i'd gladly get a tattoo like that for you...

I wont promise things I cannot do...

Because I don't wanna disappoint you...

I wont be someone else just to impress you...

because I want you to love me for who I am...

Thinking of you makes me smile like a mad man...

Hearing your voice is like listening to the sound of a thousand angels sing...

I wanna be the perfect guy...

But I know I can't be...

I wanna be your superman...

But I dont have superhuman strength...

I wanna be your Alladin...

But I dont have a flyin carpet or a genie...

I wanna be all of that for you even if it's impossible...

But I'll be there at the end of the day to make corny jokes just to make you laugh...

To tuck you into bed before you sleep...

To go through every grocery store just to buy something you like...

To learn how to cook the food that you want to eat...

To work hard so I can give you the happily ever after you deserve...

You don't have to prioritize me, just love me back...

You don't have to take care of me, because I wanna take care of you...

You don't have to swallow your pride for me, because I'll forget my stupid pride just for you...

I can't promise you the world, but I can promise to make you happy everyday...

Until I breathe my last breath...

- Your Rocket

What say you?

I just got out of the gym and I was on my way to the Sky Garden at SM to smoke when my phone beeped. I thought it was text message pero e-mail pala. I opened my mailbox and saw that the subject was "I hate myself". Nagtaka tuloy ako so binasa ko yung e-mail. Nagulat ako! Nobela!

Adam, 

I have this small problem. Well I don't really consider it small though. It has been bothering me for days now. You see, there's this guy. Well I just got to know him just a week ago. We exchanged mobile numbers and after that, we've been constantly communicating through text messages and calls. From the first time I talked with him, I felt something nice. He is a very interesting person. I told myself that I would want to know more about him. He sends me sweet messages. He gives me pet names which I found really cute and adorable. It said so much about his personality. Our first meeting wasn't really that special. I asked him if he could accompany me in watching Inception. He said yes. I suggested Greenbelt since I haven't tried yet their cinemas there. So that day came. We agreed to meet halfway. Right after class, I went straight to Gateway then after some twenty minutes, he arrived. I was easily swayed by his small stature. Although that didn't really mattered to me. I was more captured by his ability to communicate with me well. I must say it's rare that I get to meet guys who have brains. Our meet-up was great. I really had fun. It was a day of firsts for me. It was my first time to take the LRT alone. It was my first time to take the bus. It was my first time to walk along the streets of Makati. He thought of me as a "lost puppy" because I looked so clueless. 

When I got home, I called him. I told him that I had a great time. I opened the idea about him spending a night over at my place. He said he likes the idea. That day came, I fetched him over the train station then we took the trike together going back to my condo. I fell even more when he instantaneously cooked dinner for me upon realizing that I haven't eaten yet. He's a great cook. He used to own a restaurant before. For the first time, I never felt any lust for him. I mean sex didn't came into my mind. Its not that I didn't want to nor was he not worth doing it with but I was just smitten by his great personality. I couldn't begin to describe what I was feeling then. I tried to deny that I was liking him because it was just too soon. But the more I tried denying it, the more it just becomes apparent that I'm starting to miss him, that I want to talk to him everyday, that before I go to sleep it's his voice that I would want to hear, that I can't calm myself every time at some times. Here's where my problem begins. Our first meeting, I don't even consider that a date. His sleepover at my place is just like just time spent together. We didn't even got the chance to know more about each other. I get restless every time I don't get to talk to him. I'm not sure what he wants us to be or what are his intentions. The thought of this uncertainty is enough to drive me insane. I've seen myself go crazy over a guy and I don't want that to happen anymore. I was thinking of confronting him but I'm scared I might give him the impression that I'm rushing things. He's a busy person, he's got work all throughout the week. The last thing I would want to do is to demand time from him. I really don't know what to do Adam. I think he's the one. I can only think so much. 

-Atenista

**********************************

Atenista,

Hmmm... I really don't know how to respond to this. I dont even know kung may credibility ako na sumagot sa ganito. Let me take a shot in the dark okay? First of all, you only met him last week? And now you feel this way? 

Do you feel any chemistry between the two of you? I assume that you do kasi mukha namang masaya ka sa kanya. But let me remind you, it's only been a week. Confronting him may not be the best decision yet because you two barely know each other. Pag ginawa mo yun, only two things can happen. Either magustuhan mo ang sagot and you two have a fairy tale ending ooorrrr magulat sya at bigla syang dumistansya mula sayo. Are you willing to take the risk? 

You can't say that it's love you feel kasi ilang araw palang kayo magkakilala. It's probably infatuation, kasi natutuwa ka sa tao na to who fits your description of the ideal man. If you call and text him everyday, that's probably the reason why you miss him now when you don't get to talk to him because he already became part of your daily routine. Wag mo nga lang masyadong kulitin because as you said, he's always busy. 

A text every now and then to remind him you miss him is ok but to call him every minute, kahit sino maiirita. You two slept in the same bed pero walang nangyari? Weh? di nga? Pero that's good, it shows na may delikadesa ka at may control sya. This is what I learned from giving countless and unsolicited advice to all of my friends over the years, kahit anong sabihin ko may sense man o wala, when it's your heart that's listening and talking, it blocks everything else that it doesn't wanna hear. WALANG AAPILA! Wag kayong plastic!

So let me just tell you to take it slowly muna. Go on more dates, get to know him more kasi mahirap yung ineexpect mo na he's the one tapos hindi pala. Ikaw ang masasaktan kasi ikaw ang umasa. Also, ask yourself, do you think he feels the same way towards you? Give him subtle signs na you're attracted to him and if he responds well, then good. They say that great relationships start from being friends, and I would say the same to you. 

I dont know if this makes any sense pero eto lang kasi ang maipapayo ko ngayon. Sensya na po.

+Adam+

PS. Bakit sa dinami dami ng tao eh ako ang tinanong mo? 

Dahil praning ako...

Isang eksena sa office kanina.

I was seated at my workstation minding my own business updating my blog dahil sa sobrang avail time.

Lumingon ako at nakita ko ang supervisor ko papunta sa direction namin. Nung una di ko pinansin. Bigla kong na-realize na papunta sya kung san ako nakaupo. He had a blank expression on his face. Bigla akong pinagpawisan ng malamig.

Every step he took made my heart beat fast and I tried to remember the stuff I've been doing that day.

Papalapit na sya.

Ayan na.

He stopped right in front of me. Still with that look on his face.

"Oh shit", I thought.

He suddenly smiled and said, "Thanks for the help with the pictures earlier".

"Uhhm...uhh...okay...uhhm...anytime...", I said with this hesitant smile on my face. He was referring pala to the thing that he asked me to do.

Bigla syang tumalikod. Tapos na pala shift nya. I was there stunned, and when I saw the door close behind him, huminga ako ng malalim sabay sabi ng malakas,

"woohoo! Akala ko may award nanaman ako! Ayoko na!"

Nagtawanan ang mga team mate ko. Sabi ni Libby, lagi daw akong kinakabahan pag lumalapit ang kahit sino sa kanila.

"Naman!", sabi ko, "Lalo na pag may dalang papel yang mga yan, hindi na ako makahinga".

Pano ba naman kasi na-trauma na ata ako dahil dati pag kakausapin ako ng mga manager or supervisor eh dahil sa may ginawa nanaman ako. Alam nyo naman na ang inyong humble blogger eh medyo pasaway.

So far wala pa naman akong ginagawang mali ulit and I plan to keep it that way. Kinakakabahan lang ako lagi pag bigla nila akong tatawagin. And to think na sinasabi ko kay DT na praning sya. Eh mas praning pa pala ako sa kanya.

Haaay buhay nga naman.