Saturday, June 16, 2012
Stereotypes and Neophytes
Isang gabi sa bahay, kasama ko ang aking friend na si Cora at isang ka-choir namin na itatago natin sa pangalang Andrei.
"So ano nga? Bading ka ba o hindi?" tanong ni Cora kay Andrei.
Hindi makasagot ng maayos si Andrei.
Ganito kasi, si Cora ang tipo nang tao na kahit lumandi-landi ka sa harapan niya, hangga't hindi niya marinig mula sa bibig mo na ikaw ay isang beks, hindi siya maniniwalang ikaw ay isang beks. It's one of the traits I like about her. Hindi judgmental ang hitad.
Matagal na niya akong tinatanong kung sino ba sa mga ka-choir namin ang mga beks and I have given her my honest opinion but her being her, she wants to hear it from them directly. Besides, those are just my opinions based on what I've observed.
Pansin ko lang, mahina ang gaydar ni Cora which is ironic considering she has a lot of friends who are either gay or in a closet made of glass. Well actually, most are in the closet and are either in denial or just don't want to come clean about it. Which is something I respect by the way. I strongly believe that coming out is the hardest thing a gay man can do. It is something that should not be forced or rushed.
Anyway, because of this, Cora is what I would call a neophyte when it comes to the homo world. In short, her beliefs are somewhat based on stereotypes but I am trying my best to educate her about the whole thing.
"Makapagtanong ka ah!" sabi ko kay Cora dahil napapansin ko na medyo nagiging uncomfortable na si Andrei.
"So bakla ka ba or girl ka na?" Tanong ni Cora kay Andrei.
Si Andrei nagdedeny parin.
I had to interject because it was one of those moments where I found her question to be quite offensive even if it was not directed at me.
"Ano ka ba. Alam mo, hindi lahat ng bading gustong maging babae." I exclaimed.
"So hindi ka nagcrocross-dress?" tanong niya sa akin.
"Mukha ba akong nagcrocross-dress?! Do I look like the type?"
"Hindi naman. Tinatanong lang" sagot niya.
I find it funny when she asks questions like that because there's something so innocent about the way she asks them.
Numerous times in the past I had to explain to her that there are different types of gay men and not all gay men are the same.
I've also had to explain to her countless times that not all gay men like wearing pink. There are some gay men who actually like sports. There are gay men who don't like being labelled. Not all gay men want to be women and so forth and so on.
I think the things I tell her sink in but there are times when she slips and asks a variety of questions or says something, some of which I actually find offensive but I give her my honest answer and in her own way, she learns from it.
I guess it's a good thing that Cora and I became friends so I could open her eyes and educate her about homosexuality because as she's told me a lot of times, pag nagka-anak daw siya, gusto daw niyang maging bading.
Oh diba? Gaano kadalas mo marinig ang isang tao, who is a devout catholic by the way, na gustong maging bading ang anak?