Thursday, December 25, 2008

My very Blue-ish Christmas

First of all, Merry Christmas to all of my readers. I know I haven't been active this month, that's because:

A.) I got sick. The chickenpox fiasco which by the way has left scars on my face. Hopefully my mother would pay to have them removed or something.

B.) I dont really like this month.

C.) Been very busy with school.

Honestly, I dont really like this time of the year. Now i know that this is different from my usual posts which would either be about POI, giving scathing reviews to movies or bashing shows/people. This time I would like to tell you why I'm like the modern day Mr. Scrooge(From "A Christmas Carol"). I dont like christmas because it reminds me of the things missing in my life. While my cousins are at their houses hanging hanging christmas decorations and christmas stockings and shit, Im busy writing my wish list. Every year I get what I want on my list except for the last one. I could ask for a laptop, a new phone, a new mp3 player, or a new camera ( which by the way I got this year, a Cannon 1000D DSLR). Still there's something missing. As long as I can remember, I've never had a Holiday Feast AKA Noche Buena here in the Philippines with my family. Sure, I spend it either with my Mom or my Dad but its not fun. Its not christmas for me.

Its funny how when I think about it, I have practically everything anyone would want. Everything I want is given to me, no waiting, no questions asked. But I find it funny that the things I want most are the ones missing in my life.

This year, during our noche buena, everyone was asleep. I ate the food my mom prepared sitting alone in the corner of my room watching Pirates of The Carribean. I wish that I was still working because eve of the 24th, my former officemates were at work. At least if I were to feel lonely, there would have been a valid reason and at least I had people to spend it with not a plate of pasta, salad, cake and ham with a cold glass of coke sitting alone watching Johhny Depp fight this monster with tentacles for a face.

I just hate this day. Im not bitter about christmas but Im bitter about the fact that the one thing I want is the one thing I dont have.

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