5 months na!

Ang bilis talaga ng panahon.

Parang kelan lang nagpost ako ng 4th monthsary namin.

Parang kelan lang first day namin sa training.

Wala kaming alam tungkol sa company or account.

Wala kaming alam sa isa't isa.

Wala kaming pakialam sa iba.

It's funny how fast time flies sometimes. Who knew that after all these months, kumpleto parin kaming anim. Although 3 sa amin ang nasa Poker at 3 sa amin ang nasa CS, we still maintain the friendship. The fun. The gossip.

The countdown to our regularization begins. 30 days from today, we will all be evaluated by our respective Supervisors to see if we get to be regularized or not.

L-R: Jay, Rax, Rowie, Libby, Me, Del.

After how many months, for the first time kumpleto kaming anim sa day na to and after how many weeks of planning, naisuot narin namin ang company shirts namin on the same day. Si Libby lang ang naiba. Wala na daw yung shirt nya ibinigay daw nya sa asawa nya. Totoo ba yun? Or Libby baka naman gusto mo lang i-flaunt ang iyong arms na mala-porselana sa puti? Pwede namang mag-black shirt. Sleeveless kung sleeveless. Hahaha joke lang Libby. 

Guys, eto na!

Malapit na talaga.

Hinga ng malalim.

At sabay sabay...

"Thank you for calling...my name is...how can I assist you this evening?"

Queueing pala...hahaha

Bakit Ganun?

Bakit ganun? Ang daming nagtatanong sa akin kung totoo daw ba na magreresign ako. Matanong ko nga kayo, meron na ba sa inyo ang nakakita na lumapit ako sa HR na may dala akong resignation letter?

Ilang araw nalang po regular na ako sa Gaming Department. Isang buwan mula sa araw na to, regular na ako sa kumpanya. Adik ba ako para magresign bigla? Saka isa pa, nakalimutan nya na ba na may bonus tayo sa December? Alangan naman umalis ako bigla nang hindi manlang natitikman ang Christmas Bonus at 13th month pay ng office diba.

Aaminin ko, I have received offers from other companies. Offers which are unbelievably tempting dahil sa taas ng offer, but I haven't responded yet because I know that they will be working me to the bone. I have to be honest, I like my job but I don't love it anymore. My salary is enough to pay for my bills, buy some shit every now and then, put food on my table and all that crap. My job is easy, taking calls, answering mails and chat. Simple enough isn't it? Yun ata ang problema ko.

Aaminin ko din, iba na ang takbo ng kumpanya ngayon compared nung nasa very sosyal kami na RCBC tower sa makati na napapalibutan ng mga mas sosyal na Jolly Jeep. The changes aren't big, it's not even a lot, but the point is, there are changes.

Masaya ako sa trabaho ko, pero hindi ko pa ito mahal. Madali ang trabaho ko, pero yun ang problema dahil hindi ako na-chachallenge. Kaya todo apply ako sa mga mas mataas na position kasi alam ko na mas mahirap ang trabaho at mas maeenjoy ko because I love a good challenge.

I have no immediate plans of leaving the company. But it doesn't mean that I havent considered leaving. Hangga't masaya parin ako sa trabaho ko, hindi ako aalis. But if I feel that I am not advancing or moving forward, then I would have to reconsider because I dont want to be an agent my whole life.

Kaya pwede sa mga tanong ng tanong, hindi pa ako magreresign. This blogger still enjoys his job. So lets leave it at that.

Konti nalang!!!

Pagbukas ko ng e-mail ko, may galing sa Globe.

Pagtingin ko sa phone ko, may text naman galing din sa Globe.

Exclusive link and laman ng mga message.

Eto na!

Malapit na talaga!

I've marked my calendar!

Ilang tulog nalang!

Pasasaan ba't mapupunta ka rin sa aking mga kamay.

And Then I Came Out of Narnia...

This was my entry to the blogging event of theorg-y. It was conducted on September 1 and my story got published. I've been planning to post this for a while now but I decided to post it today because this day means a lot to me and Parker. So without further ado...here ya go...

**************************************

I contemplated on whether I should write this or not. It has only been a few days since I came out to some of the most important people in my life. Among all of them, there is one story I would like to share. Cliche as it seems, it is how I came out to my Mom. This post is quite long so bear with me. Nobela to.

And here is how the story goes...

More than a week ago, I changed my Facebook status from 'single' to 'in a relationship'. It was something that caused quite a stir among my friends and family. Apparently, me being in a relationship is such a huge deal for them. A lot of people commented, reacted, asked. One of them was my Mom.

"Who's your girlfriend?", she asked me over the phone.

"Oh that? It's nothing don't mind that", I answered.

She noticed that I didn't want to talk about it so she dropped the topic. A few days after that, she came to Manila. A few hours after she arrived, she was in my room playing Farmville. I was watching TV. She asked me again,

"Who is your girlfriend?"

"No one, don't take that seriously", I answered.

"Why don't you wanna tell me? Is she ugly? Is she stupid? Is she poor? What?"

"No its not that."


"Tell me. I thought we were close, you could tell me anything."


"Mom...its...complicated", I answered with a sigh.

"Try me", she insited.

"No", I firmly said.

"Why? Are you worried I will get mad? Are you worried about something? I don't have hypertension or anything you know", she said trying to feign humor.

"You might have if I tell you the story."

"Just tell me c'mon.", she said without looking at me, being too engrossed with Farmville.

I fell silent and I just looked at her while she was harvesting her crops. I wanted to tell her. I could feel my heart beating so fast, it felt like a thousand drums were pounding on my chest. I took a deep breath.


"It's now or never", I told myself.

I pulled my mom close to me and hugged her really tight. I lay my head on her shoulder and I was stopping myself from crying.

"What is it anak? What's wrong?", she asked.

I didn't respond.

"Anak you can tell me anything. Did you do something wrong? Is something bothering you?"

I started crying silent tears.

"Anak I am your Mom. I only want you to be happy and I will understand you for whatever it is you have done", she said reassuringly.

"Mom I don't know how to tell you this...I don't know how or where to start so I'll just say it out right", I suddenly said.

She nodded.


"Mom...I don't have a girlfriend. I have a boyfriend", I said and at that moment I broke down in tears.

My mom without wasting a second hugged me and said that she already knew.

She explained it to me. She already knew. Apparently even as a child, she wished that I would be gay because a gay son would never leave her and would put her above everything else. She said that it was a part of her that was too selfish to share me with another woman.

My Mom said that she was raised by my grandpa who was not her biological father but was gay. She said that because of him, she saw that gay men can be more decent than straight men and that there was nothing wrong with being gay specially in this day and age. She added that she saw the life my grandpa led, how blessed and happy he was because he was gay.

It made me feel so much better.

"Im sorry Momma", I said, voice a bit cracking.


"There is nothing to be sorry about. When you told me, did I look surprised? Did I look shocked?", she asked, "I already knew it anak and I know that it is something very private and very hard for you to say so all I've been waiting for is for you to tell me. I did not want to be presumptuous, I did not want to catch you off guard. I wanted you to tell me when you were ready."

I could not stop crying at that point. Was I dreaming? Was all of this real? Was my Mom actually telling me these things?

"I'm happy that you told me the truth. I am relieved. Just because you are gay, it does not mean that I will love you any less. I love you more because you told me the truth and I now how hard it is to admit something like this. I know what a relief it is because you've been harboring this secret inside you for a long time."

Every time my Mom talked, every word she said, all I did was look at her in the eyes. I did not see anger. I did not see disappointment. I did not see remorse. I only saw relief.

The conversation became lighter eventually. My mom said that she does not see me marrying a girl and that if that day would come, she wont break down and stop the wedding because she won't be able to accept that.

"When I saw that you changed your FB status, the first thing that came to my mind was 'poor girl' because I did not know it was a guy. But now that I know, I'm much more relieved. I mean, if it was a girl and she loves you then it's her problem because I know that you are gay, and besides, ako lang ang babae sa buhay mo no!", she said.

I laughed.

My mom assured me that nothing would change. She gave me advice on how to handle relationships and all that. She also said that I should know that there would be criticisms, there would be reactions and that I should be ready for that. I told her I already was.

She asked me about my boyfriend and that if he was my first.

"He's not. You've already met two of my ex-boyfriends actually and they've also been to the house", I said.

She knew exactly who I was talking about and for their sake, I won't mention their names here.

We had a short conversation about my exes and I told her why we broke up. She knew that I dont talk to them anymore but the details we're always shady. Now, everything made more sense to her.

"So tell me about your boyfriend. What does he do? How old is he? Is he still studying?"

"He's 23, he's working and he's a cum laude. He's smart, he's good looking and he loves me a lot", I replied.

"Does he have a Facebook account? What is it? Show me his picture", my mom demanded.

"Why?"

"So I'd know what he looks like and I'll see kung may malalait ako sa kanya", she said laughing.

I thought for a second and I opened his picture which was saved on my desktop.

"Ooohhhh he's cute. Disente manamit. Good ah. At least marunong kang pumili", she suddenly blurted out.

I couldn't help but laugh out loud.

She said that she's happy that I'm happy and that she's glad I found someone but she lay down some ground rules.

Bawal ang live-in.

Conduct yourself properly in public.

And...if you break up...move one. Let go. What doesnt destroy you will make you stronger. You should know that.

"Malamang", I told myself. I just nodded.

"Tama na nga to, I'm not done harvesting yet", she suddenly said.

"Ma, I wonder what will Papa and his relatives say when they find out?", I asked innocently.

She burst out into laughter.

"Oh yeahhh", she said, "Well anyway, it's not like they've done anything for you, so they have no right to react".

It's been days since we had this conversation. Nothing has changed. We've actually become closer. The only difference is that I'm happier than I've ever been. I've already told most of my close friends, and all of them accepted me with open arms.

Coming out is hard. Coming out is scary, its terrifying, it downright nerve wracking. But I am happy and thankful that my friends and my mom have made it so easy for me. This is not what I expected, not at all. So for everyone out there who's afraid to come out, I'm not forcing you to come out, but let me tell you that when you do, it is at that moment when you realize who your true friends are and how much your family loves you.

Now I can sleep soundly at night. Now it no longer bothers me. Now I have everything I could ever want and more.

Now I am out of Narnia...and it feels so much better...

Prize?

 Last Friday, may party dito sa office. As usual wala nanaman ako! Leche bakit ba kapag party dito sa office eh laging off ko. Sinasabutahe na ata ako ah. Pero ang mas nakakainis dun eh double pay kami nung araw na yun. Apparently, holiday daw nun.

Anyway...may raffle something something dito sa office nun and nanalo pala ako. Si Libby pa ang nagkwento sa akin. So ayun dumaan ako ng HR para kunin yung 'prize' ko. Naaliw naman ako at talagang effort ang pagbalot sa prize.

Gusto nyo bang malaman kung ano laman nito?

Talaga?

Hindi nga?

O cge.

Eto na.

Eto na nga.

Wait lang.

Saglit nga lang!

Eto na talaga.

Ang prize ko ay...

Isang napakacute...

At napakalambot...

At napakared...

na...

Stuff toy na Football... hehehe.

Ilan kami na nanalo nito. Si SexyAnne, purple ata yung sa kanya. Yung isang team mate ko, pink. Yung isa naman, blue. Ang ganda nung blue.

Iniiwan ko lang to sa office, di ko maiuwi kasi hindi kasya sa bag ko. Eh alangan naman maglakad lakad ako sa kalsada na may dalang stuff toy na football, eh di pinagtinginan na ako ng madlang people.

Kaya ayun, ginagamit ko nalang dito sa office at pinaglalaruan ko or binabato ko kay Mariah hehehe.

Dinner at Gilligans...

Dumating ng Manila kahapon ang aking bestfriend na si Jackie kasama ang ate nya. Wala syang planong pumunta dito but she applied for a job and she was scheduled yerterday for an interview. Biglaan lang kasi na tinawagan sya nung isang gabi lang so medyo nataranta ang hitad.

Since I had work, I met up with her after my shift. At dahil hindi sya sanay sa Manila, I had to go to Makati to meet up with her.

Syempre gumala kami at nagkwentuhan na parang walang bukas. At natural hindi nawala sa usapan si Parker kasi naiintriga ang bestfriend kong to, although nakapagusap naman na sila noon at pinakita ko pictures ni Parker sa kanya. Tuwang tuwa naman ang gaga.

Ayan ang aming pag-gagala sa Glorietta 4 at SM Makati. After nun since naramdaman namin ang kagutuman, pumunta kami sa Giligans ng Glorietta 5.

 

Inorder namin yung set number 4 nila na may kasamang crispy pata na so-so lang ang lasa. Yung sinigang ok naman. Nalasahan ko naman ang asim ng tunay na sinigang pero konti lang laman nya, puro sabaw lang. Gusto ko sanang picturan yung food kaso na-lowbat parehong phone ko.

Tinanong ko yung waiter kung pwede ko bang icharge iphone ko since lagi ko dala charger ko.

"20 pesos po", sagot ni kuya.

Ahhh. So may bayad talaga. Ayun, pinacharge ko na phone ko since 20 pesos lang naman pala. Habang hinihintay ang phone ko, phone ni Jackie ginamit namin kaya yung mga pictures andoon. Ayun after dinner at katakot takot na kwentuhan gumala nanaman kami. Naghiwalay kami ng mga bandang 9 kasi gusto na daw nyang bumalik sa hotel para masulit naman daw nya ibinayad nya.

Sabi ni Parker mukha daw akong kawawa sa picture na to. Hahaha. Anyway, namiss ko tong bespren kong to. I rarely get to see her since she works in the province so whenever she comes here, we make it a point to catch up with one another.

Orange Orange Orange!

My room is now orange.

Pinapili ako ni Mama ng kulay. I chose orange. I've always wanted an orange room.

While finding the right tone for my wall.

First coat.

Final coat. Curtains back up and everything.

My cabinets were painted white. Because my cabinets are still wet and they smell like hell opening up, all of my shit are in the guest room. For the moment, I have my own walk in closet. Hehehe. The original color of my room was powder blue and I hated it. So now it's a color I like. I showed Parker the new color of my room thanks to Skype.

"It's not as bad as I imagined", sabi nya.

Wala lang. Shinare ko lang. 

What stories are made of...

When we were younger, may mga idea na tayo sa kung sino ang gusto nating makatuluyan. We would have this picture in the back of our minds of what our prince or princesses would look like and be like. We'd have an idea of what our happy endings would be.

Actually continuation ito ng post ko tungkol sa mga writer at kung paano sila magmahal. Though this post is more of what happens when a writer finds love.

Kung ang ibang tao may idea na tungkol sa gusto nilang makatuluyan, imagine how it is for a writer to envision the person he or she wants to be with. It'll be in so much detail that when they close their eyes they can actually catch a glimpse of that person and when they open their eyes, their heads would be spinning from being too overwhelmed. 

Paano kung nakahanap na sila ng taong mamahalin? Paano kung andyan na sa harap nila yung tao? Will they wish for a Romeo-Juliet love story? Edward-Bella? or would they want an Alladin-Jasmine story? Writers are very hard to love kasi mahirap silang intindihin. You really can't tell what's on their mind, because most time, even they dont know what it is. Mahirap silang pakisamahan kasi they tend to have their own world and they set standards for their world. There are some naman na highfalutin words ang ginagamit kaya pag kinausap mo eh nose bleed kung nose bleed. Kanya-kanyang trip lang yan.

But here's the thing. Ibang klase sila magmahal. Todo bigay. Ibang level. Kasi nga, they can envision how the greatest love story could go. They are more creative and inspired kasi may pinaghuhugutan sila nun. All they need is a pinch of imagination, a dash of inspiration, and the certainty na mahal sila nung taong mahal nila. They would go through great lengths to express their love.

Basta ito ang aking closing remark. Totoo man na mahirap mahalin ang isang writer pero hindi mo ito pagsisisihan dahil kaming mga writer, no matter how immature or over-analytical we may be at times, ibang klase kami magmahal because we can envision and understand what great love stories are made off and we can make them happen.