How Do I Unlove You?

How do I unlove you?

That’s a question I’ve asked myself many times. You were the one that got away and yet I still love you. I try my best not to say it out loud but keeping something like that bottled up inside can only go on for so long.

How do I unlove you?

It’s a question many people have asked themselves. The problem with love is that you can’t control it. The mind battles what the heart feels. Your mind can take over and you can convince yourself over and over again but there will always be that part of you, that voice telling you to do the opposite. Some people are lucky enough to be able to tune it out.

How do I unlove you?

In theory it should be easy. But it’s hard since I still see and talk to you every now and then. I tried avoiding you. I thought not seeing you would make me forget you but instead, it made me miss you. Seeing you with the dorky smile that complements your boyish charm makes my heart melt. But then I have to restrain myself. I have to grin and bare it while asking myself the same question again.

How do I unlove you?

My will is strong but my heart tries to pound loud enough to be heard. To be considered. To be vulnerable. In that moment of vulnerability, I think of you and what we could have been. But I’m not stupid enough to think that we would ever be together. What we had, fleeting as it was, was special and something I fondly look back on. I love you, that much is true, but it does not mean that I want to be with you. Just because I miss you does not mean that I want you back in my life. It’s just a part, a phase I have to go through to move on. Which is why I still keep asking myself, “how do I unlove you?”


Adam's Note: I wrote this a few years ago for Matt when I was still in love with him. My feelings for him are long gone. I just thought it would be fun to post this for the benefit of those asking themselves how to unlove someone.